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I have made bad credit decisions. I went into debt when my husband was out of work for some years and we got credit cards to buy diapers, food, necessaties of life. I know it was wrong but with two small I had no choice. we needed to survive! now years later it all comes back to haunt us. we never owned a home. we are now in the position to buy a home but our credit is stopping us. we pay $ a month on rent. we pay our debts on a monthly basis. we have never faltered when it came to paying our rent or utilities(sometimes late) but the important things we always made sure we paid. the banks won't give us a mortgage. the mortgage companies won't give us a mortgage. we are able to pay a mortgage but because the credit card companies say we are not good enough the banks won't take a and lend us the money. Why are the banks listening to credit card companies and not going by our landlords testamonies or the utilities testamonies? they are the ones who tell these banks that we are good to invest in. that we pay our rent every month for 24 years now. we have always kept a roof over our heads and food on the table and have never had our utilities shut off. We are good enough to invest in. why won't someone take a on us? who want a nice hot loadSex therapy reap little help either and your marriage fail unless your wife decides to participate. You have to let it go..you cannot force her to '- the light' or wake up to what she has, what she is giving up or suddenly want you again. You just have no control over it. wife has always had intimacy issues and now she says she loves me but she no longer able to have sex with me. That really says it all. Your wife has an issue, you know it, she knows it but she no longer wants to be responsible for it. You, the family and the marriage are just not worth the effort. She just doesn't want it bad enough. I want you to take that quote and rewrite it..my wife has intimacy issues and she says she WON'T have sex with me. Now, from your post I am not going to address if this is some physical thing that causes distress or pain, because what you describe is emotional. The no sex issue is your wife's deal to handle until she's ready to communicate to you what is needed to turn it around. Then it can be a WE issue. What to expect from the divorce process and mediation? Pain. It take a lot of power to negotiate intelligently without lashing out. Do it anyway. Do not give in to the anger and the pain it cause not during negotiations. You manage that with counseling, exercise, friends. Just like your wife YOU need to manage your condition. It take time and it be a trying process. 2 weeks seem like years. There is no pill that make it better so prepare yourself. And do what must be done. separate credit ASAP take half the money and place it in an account with your name only close all joint credit cards and most importantly FILE, get the separation LEGAL so that any assumed debt is each parties responsibility Understand that you have rights as a parent, PROTECT them, fight if necessary but PROTECT. Same with assets. The mediation..its painful, but it is a LEGAL process, meaning its business. The decisions you make effect the rest of your life, no short term thinking here. couples looking for couples
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