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and I don't mean to sound so ous about it. People make decisions and regret them all the time, so really it's not surprising that people regret the decision to have an abortion. They would probably regret the decision to not have one as well. This is where I find conflict in my own beliefs. Some states require some sort of basic counselling to make sure that the mother is making a well informed decision. They go, talk to a shrink, then have to wait for a set amount of time (1-3 days I think), and then can make their formal decision. I agree with this practice in theory, because I can't imagine how difficult a decision it would be, and such decisions should not be made in the heat of the moment. But in reality this practice presents a burden on lower income women. They have to take time off work for the counselling and more time off for the proceedure as well. That just adds more stress to someone who's already faced with a difficult decision. So, is required counselling helping or hurting them ? As for the claim that "most of them do not stem from rape or even failed contraception, but are simply 'conveniences'." This is such a common claim but is rarely supported by data. What defines 'conveniences' in these cases anyway? "I can't afford to have a kid and can't stand the thought of giving my offspring away" or "I don't look good in maternity clothes" or "If my hubby finds out I cheated on him he'll kill me". Could be anything. Also, I can easily a scenario where someone was raped but wasn't able to admit it I wonder if and how often those cases of abortion exist that aren't reported as rape but as "conveniences". Oh yeah and Unruh's statement that "- who have had abortions.." Any scholar knows that is just a filler for when you don't have actual data but your intuition or bias says that you have a lot of something but don't have the to back up your claims. looking for love friends and everything in betweenexcellent point. in addition, read carefully: you do pick the women you date. if you didn't, then you'd be with the first wierdo that oogled you. if you didn't pick your partner, then you are either: a) attracted to every single female on earth, or b) you'd be in relationships with people you are not attracted to. I'm going to go out on a limb here by saying that the none of the above criteria apply to you; hence you are choosing. secondly, you need to understand that patterns exist, with all of us, in the way we determine who we date and how we behave with others. we are not consciously aware of these patterns most of the time the qualities we are attracted in a mate stem from the way we were parented; very often in relationships, partners act out certain behaviors that went unresolved in childhood you don't have to be dysfunctional to do this (we all have unresolved issues from childhood, some to a higher degree than others and we all, in some fashion, act them out). we are not consciously aware that we are behaving this way! the point is that the particular women you are choosing, all share certain characteristics and . you are subconsciously picking these. I don't know why you are picking them, you probably don't know why you are picking them, but you are picking them. if you practiced some introspection, you might realize why it's complicated, not an easy answer but not impossible to determine. it is not necessary to come to terms with why you are choosing a certain type of person, what is important is an awareness of your own behavior, and the consequences thereof. it is the first step in promoting change which can result in more satisfying relationships. singles dating site
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