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married looking for open minded Oakland "He thinks these guys want to get back together"..OK, and then what? What if they do? What is he *really* afraid of? That he isn't enough to hold your interest? That you don't really him? He and you need to be willing to go into the issue and truly discuss it. Because it isn't about other people and what they do or don't want; it's about the two of you. You can certainly express that you don't want to be limited in your friendships. My hunch is that the underlying issue won't be limited to ex's you just haven't confronted all the possible trigger points yet. If your relationship is "jeapardized" by your being friends with an ex (presuming you aren't flaunting them and have reasonable contact rather than constant chatter), it not be mature enough to handle the stresses inherent in an intimate relationship. The win win can be achieved. Tell your BF what you want: not an either or, black and white. Think carefully about what would make you happy, in terms of frequency of contact. Let your BF know you want to respect his feelings as well and work out a compromise that not be perfect for either of you, but that works for both of you. Pay attention to how he handles a request for compromise. You can point to his own relationship with his ex as an example of keeping cordial relations with someone he once cared for. In the end, only you can determine whether this is a deal breaker. Be careful about what you give up; it often sets precedents for later actions.
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