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I know you want relationship advice and here I am giving you healing and therapeutic advice. Okay, here’s relationship advice. Tell him you him and that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Tell him that you don’t know what to do to deepen the relationship but you very much want to do that. Tell him that you don’t know how to ask for what you want and need from him really, you don’t know how to figure out what you want and need from anyone, including yourself. Tell him that you have a habit of lying; that you want to learn how to be truthful. Tell him that you have unresolved issues in your past; that you need therapy and you’re going to get it. Ask him whether he be your partner and stick with you for the haul. That while you’re a way from being ready to get married, you know he’s the guy for you. Ask him to reflect on your request for a while before responding. Tell him that you understand this is a significant request. And that you’re going to accept whatever he says at face value. DO NOT BE EMOTIONAL. Guys hate it when women cry. They get so uncomfortable with it, they’ll tell you anything to make you stop crying and you really need an authentic reply. So, keep your composure. No tears! I mean it! If you need to, give it to him in writing. That way he can read it over and over and can be clear about what you’re asking. Then, listen to what he says and accept it at face value. If he says he’s in for the haul, accept it. If he says he doesn’t know whether he could be in for a haul, accept it. Next, create a program for healing. Find a good psychotherapist. I recommend that you find one familiar with ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). They are all over the west coast, it won’t be a problem. If you need meds for depression, anxiety, insomnia, etc., get a psychiatrist. Join a support group for. Read self help books. Take some educational seminars dealing with life enrichment (tons on that on the west coast). Cut your work hours back and get into some creative therapy (paint, draw, voice lessons, theatre, play a musical instrument, etc.). Take time for self care (cooking, nutrition, exercise, sleep). Nurture you home and body so they’re the perfect expression of who you are. Expand you network of friends. nympho teens KythiraSugar, you are lost nearly every time we hear from you. Get a map already. A woman who needs to fight with her husband for weeks must not know how to do it right. One day, two at most. More than that means you don't have your own mind made up whether you're in the right or in the wrong. When you can't decide what color to paint the bedroom and you keep switching back and forth, that's one thing. When it comes to issues of respect and your own dignity, you better come down and hard on, husbands, or the next-door neighbors. Quit whining. Heave the damn computer out on the sidewalk, face-end first. He won't forget that. Tell him it "just appeared there", and that he's every bit as liable to appear there himself if you ever again anything in or near the house that you can't show to his mother, your mother, and your -' school teacher. I have no confidence a limp straw like you can do it effectively the first time, but you better start learning. What on earth have you been doing all these years? wants for friendship
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