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Sex therapy reap little help either and your marriage fail unless your wife decides to participate. You have to let it go..you cannot force her to '- the light' or wake up to what she has, what she is giving up or suddenly want you again. You just have no control over it. wife has always had intimacy issues and now she says she loves me but she no longer able to have sex with me. That really says it all. Your wife has an issue, you know it, she knows it but she no longer wants to be responsible for it. You, the family and the marriage are just not worth the effort. She just doesn't want it bad enough. I want you to take that quote and rewrite it..my wife has intimacy issues and she says she WON'T have sex with me. Now, from your post I am not going to address if this is some physical thing that causes distress or pain, because what you describe is emotional. The no sex issue is your wife's deal to handle until she's ready to communicate to you what is needed to turn it around. Then it can be a WE issue. What to expect from the divorce process and mediation? Pain. It take a lot of power to negotiate intelligently without lashing out. Do it anyway. Do not give in to the anger and the pain it cause not during negotiations. You manage that with counseling, exercise, friends. Just like your wife YOU need to manage your condition. It take time and it be a trying process. 2 weeks seem like years. There is no pill that make it better so prepare yourself. And do what must be done. separate credit ASAP take half the money and place it in an account with your name only close all joint credit cards and most importantly FILE, get the separation LEGAL so that any assumed debt is each parties responsibility Understand that you have rights as a parent, PROTECT them, fight if necessary but PROTECT. Same with assets. The mediation..its painful, but it is a LEGAL process, meaning its business. The decisions you make effect the rest of your life, no short term thinking here. any real women over 40 for tonight
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