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lansing ebony ssbbw The boyfriend likes to do random stuff just to shock me or surprise me every once in a while. One thing he really likes to do if I start to mess with him, trying to tickle him or something like that, is start making this high-pitched screaming noise It's completely un-imitatable . He kind of closes his mouth up into an "o" shape and wiggles his tongue around to make the sound undulate, all while this horrendous noise is coming from his throat And he always opens his eyes wide and shakes his hands like he's having a convulsion when he does it In any case At one point, I recorded him doing this on his phone. He knew about it and laughed about it But then I took his phone and secretly changed the ringtone for when his mother ed to that screaming noise One day, he was walking home from somewhere with our two roommates, and the phone goes off screaming They nearly jumped into the street, it them so much! The boyfriend was surprised too, but after he got off the phone with his mom he laughed and explained to them that this was a noise he makes every once in a while. The roomies didn't believe him, and asked him to do it right then and there. So he does, and as he does it, this random homeless guy (who had been walking toward them, looking like he was going to ask them for change) stops dead in his tracks, stares for a moment, and crosses the street! ROFL! My boyfriend didn't even notice the homeless guy part until they got home and the roomies told me about it I laughed so hard big women sex Hornbeck
ca65 girl wants free cock DearbornI posted this once before but here's what happened: was the sales manager at the company where I worked. He was also the lecherous old fart who’d come into my office and try to look down my blouse. It was my last day on this job so a bunch of the girls were taking me out for lunch. Somehow managed to tag along. Rather than riding to the restaurant with the girls, I decided to accept Murray’s offer of a ride there in his little green sports car. It was during that ride that I decided it would be fun to how much I could shock or excite the old geezer. At the restaurant I let sit beside me. Throughout the meal I was flirty but always decorous. Just before we left I made a brief stop in the ladies room to slightly adjust my wardrobe. During the ride back to the shop, seemed to enjoy the way I’d rolled my skirt at the waistline to raise the hem and show about an inch-and-a-half more thigh than I normally do. As we were walking to the car I’d also unbuttoned one more button than usual on my blouse so he could a little more boob than usual. I pretended that I didn’t notice Murray’s glances. Once we were back at the shop, parked in his usual space and came around to open the passenger side door to help me exit the low slung sports car. That was my. As I squirmed around to face him I “accidentally” let my skirt ride up even higher than it had been. As I took Murray’s hand for support I swung my legs to the ground spreading them slightly as I did. In the next moment Murray’s eyes were riveted on my crotch. That’s when I spread my legs wide and let him look up my skirt to that I wasn’t wearing any panties. I think the old geezer nearly fainted before I had a to get out of the car. It was the most fun I’d had in the entire time I worked for that company. grany wants man
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certitude. Your perpetual overuse, overtaxed, overreached attempts at distending the verbage you spew has emerged as a habitual transgression against humankind. Listen lovey, you can *try* and sound intelligent, but frankly, you fail. Proof of the physical is possible. You want proof? Step on a landmine. When you lift off, it explode causing you to hurt. You want proof? look down and confirm your proof that stepping on a landmine hurts, provided you are not in shock from not being able to your legs. Plus, its "Oh, fuck me running sideways". If you are going to steal a quote, at least use it properly. You can keep failing to impress anyone here by using. You have already been written off by the people here as someone who really doesnt know shit from shinola. You are just too bloated in your own attempted opinion of yourself to know that, Sweetums. master seeking a bbw sub to be my nasty slut
Sometimes I think my wife married me because I didn't have sex with her. I thought that would change after marriage, but evidentially she didn't. She doesn't want me to cheat, but I am at that point where I have to. She has installed security cameras all over the house to try and make sure I don't even masturbate. ¶ It wasn't that bad at first, but now whenever she catches me she breaks one of my Manilow albumns or sends a shock to the dog collar she makes me wear. I would fight back, but I don't have any arms. ¥ Anyone willing to expiriment with me, I mean sexually, not like the doctors when I was. I never in my life be able to look at marbles the same. § Seriously, I would to have my first time be warm, special and involve chili spiced chocolate milk. Please bring a crazy straw for me, wife only stocks those little coffee straws. ♣ erotic services AmericanaI think she couldn't crush him in front of mum, and I think deep down she is in with him, isn't that what the Polygraph showed? Plus there is always the "still in shock" factor of his death and detrayal granny women
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