Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array friend finder in GroningenLooking for my better half This isn't my first time doing this so I know exactly what I'm looking for from the guys that I have met in the past. I met a few great guys but nothing was permanent so that's why I'm back! If your not looking for what I'm looking for then please do us both a favor and don't respond. No need to waste our time! Here is what I'm looking for: -nobody younger than because Iam not friendly with either) -non user -prefer non-drinker but as long as it isn't often that's cool are ok but no more than 3 if they are small -someone who sort of a night owl but not a must -someone that loves to laugh, jokes, and talk shit -no heavy partiers as Iam not a partier at all -tattoos and piercings are ok -must be able to take things slow at first -prefers someone who isn't African American like myself because Iam interested in getting to know more about the different cultures around me. And PS I don't have anything against African American men! I was married to one for a long time and no he didn't turn me off black guys if you were wondering -no dominant guys because Iam by all means no "yes" women. I have a mind of my own and don't have a problem with letting you know what's on it -you must send a with your response ( if any) and please no nudes. I am actually interested in face pictures if you can believe that. I could care less what your body looks like as stated above. Or you get no response! Please make sure you put "Too Cool" in the subject line! I look forward to hopefully finding FINALLY what I'm looking for! horny girls chat in In Htang free on line dating
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attractive guy looking for gf or new friend with a woman who a.) is simply using him because she isn't mature enough to stand on her own two feet. b.) has such a defeatist attitude. c.) would probably be a "yes-woman" without her own mind. You're setting yourself up to be, walked all over and worse., one year is not always enough to get over someone. It took me years of being single. And guess what that years also did for me? Taught me that I being alone. No one to "please," no one to argue with, no eggshells to walk on, complete and utter freedom and relaxation. And I have a TON of friends who would be there in a heartbeat for me if I ever needed anything. For a relationship, there has to be give and take, not just take. The poor schmuck who married you would be doing a whole hell of a lot of giving, and that is totally not fair to him. It is VERY selfish of you. Get involved in hobby activities, volunteer, whatever. Do something that fulfills you. Figure out what about you (YOU are the common denominator) is attracting non-serious guys. Because they are out there in ABUNDANCE. And STOP looking at each guy as a potential husband. Just live in the moment, for -'s sake! Loneliness and desperation can be spotted from a thousand away it's actually driving away all the good guys. What did you want from your post in this forum? A pity party? You've done enough of that on your own. Nobody here is going to say "Awh, poor, poor clgth." horney teens Las Vegas New Mexico
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i've spent hours, on afternoons sittin in that unbelievably sexy e55 in the showroom. doesn't mean i'm any closer to driving it out of there. (although i'm familiar with where the key locker is, and how the storefront doors open, and the hours of opperation, and the security detail, and the sentencing laws for GTA in WA but i digress.) i'm trying to help you, not him cuz he's not here asking for help with his "situation." if the guy likes you that much and still doesn't have the balls to end his current relationship where does it leave you? more likely, he just isn't convinced that leaving his 'other' for you is the right thing to do. but and this is big as as you're willing to let him do both, he's not going to change it. if what you have, is not what you want YOU need to change it. you CANNOT force him to you more. you CANNOT force him to want to be with you more. he you 'some,' and he want to be with you 'some,' but obviously as is told by his current pillow dent, he doesn't want it bad enough to JUST be with you. if YOU don't want to share him, tell him you want to be friends and consign yourself to the heartache you've already earned (vs the greater heartache you could go through if you stick around for another 2 years and nothing changes.) ultimatum? makes it easier for him to drop you. just tell him that this isn't what's best for you, and you'd like to be friends, and you're going to open yourself up to other relationships. or keep doing what your doing ? chat with local sexy girl8:00. Wake up. Wonder where you are. 8:01. Realize you are lying on percent cotton sheets of at least a count, so don't panic; you're not slumming. 8:02. Realize you are actually in your own bed for a change. Wake stranger next to you and tell them you are late for work so won't be able to cook breakfast for them. Mutter "sorry" as you help him look for his far-flung underwear. You find out that you tore his boxers while ripping them off him last night, so you "-" him a pair of boxer-briefs, but not the new ones because you never intend to him again. 8:05. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, "It was fun. I'll give you a ," as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath. 8:06. Crumple and dispose of the piece of paper with his telephone number on it when you get to the kitchen. 8:07. Make a high protein breakfast while watching the Today show. Wonder if the stories you've heard about Lauer are true. Decide they must be. 8:30. Italian or domestic? Decide to go with button Italian and the only shirt that is clean. 8:45. Climb into red Z4 and try not to look too much like driving one of her accessories as you pull out of your underground parking. Revos or Armanis? Go with Revos. 9:35. Stroll into office. 9:36. Close door to office and best friend and laugh about the guy who spent the night at your condo. Point out something annoying about best friend's boyfriend but quickly add "It doesn't matter what everyone thinks, just as as you him." 10:15. Leave office, telling your secretary you are "meeting with a client." Pretend not to notice her insubordinate roll of her eyes (or the cloying "poem" she has tacked to her cubicle wall). 10:30. Hair appointment for lowlights and cut. Purchase of Aveda anti-humectant pomade. 11:30. Run into personal trainer at gym. Pester him about getting you Human Growth Hormone. Spend 30 minutes talking to friends on your cell phone while using Strength machines, preparing a mental-matrix of which circuit parties everyone is going to and which are now passe. mature swingers
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