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once you start talking about hobbies and activities outside of work you can work in a few phrases that let him know your interested. If he's interested, he'll take the bait. Phrases like: "You are triple threat kind of guy; hard working, good looking and talented/interesting/whatever." Or "I wonder if you ever get lonely doing X all by yourself?" It also be that he's not ready to date. His divorce wasn't that ago. bf is out of town looking to play asapJust in horrible, painful wrapping paper. Losing your first, that first real heartbreak, is crushing. I've been there. It feels like your soul is being ripped out of your chest. I'm glad that she has a caring, supportive friend to help her through. She's going to need you. She's going to feel down for a while, but she can't stay there. Be careful on your end not to talk to much crap about the ex, there were real feelings there, and if you talk bad about him she'll 1. feel like she has to defend him or 2. think 'wow, I wasn't even good enough for this creep'. Neither are good. So, you need to give her time to eat hagen daz while watching chick flicks in her sweats for a week or two. And then you need to help her reinvest in herself. Hit the gym, get the break up hair cut, go shopping, go dancing, go try things she never would if she were partnered. Have you ever heard the expression 'break up hot'? It's when you channel that anger and hurt into building yourself up, both physiy and mentally. She should take a class and work her (always feels great!), try a new style, invest in her NEW self. I can sympathize. I was with my first for 4 years, and he was a childhood friend for a lot longer. He had issues, but he really was my first, my first everything. When we broke up, it nearly broke me. But looking back, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I threw myself into school, friends, hobbies, lost 15 lbs, etc. That next year was hard and lonely, but I gained a sense of myself I'd NEVER had before. I ended up stronger, happier, more self assured. Once I got to a place were I was happy really, truly 'don't need a -' happy, guess what happened? Yup, the REAL of my life showed up just like that. He adored this feisty, independent I'd turned into. I felt like he loved who I was from deep down, and not who I grew into to please him like my first. 15 years later, he still loves all that stuff. And first? Divorced, addicted, in and out of jail, and still full of regret. He really did me a favor. married women looking for married men
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