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ca65 sbf 24 looking for sbm or mixed black male 24I am the one who left. We lived like a brother and sister and I can honestly say I am happier now than I have been my whole life. It's been awhile, almost 2 years. I have a life and boyfriend , he has a life and girlfriend. But the guilt that he was not ready eats me up. He did not want to be a single dad doing this on his own. He wanted a family , retirement and the whole nine yards. I was drowning and needed to be a good parent to my boys , which I am now. He lives 2 away and is a great dad , I feel I am a great mom. It just makes me sad when I drive over to a beautiful house I made him buy ( that he didn't want ) and I drop off my clothes and stuffed for the next few days and his reflection in the window doing this alone. This was my best friend and we just battled each other when the end was near He was angry, harassed me and I fought back to defend myself. How can you feel so happy and so sad at the same time ? That is something that eats at me daily. I hear the horror stories so I am not feeling sorry for myself. There was no cheating, no leaving me with to support on my own .. none of that. Just one that wanted out and the guilt I feel at times for not loving him the way he deserved haunts me. We were together for 14 years , bought houses together , had together. ect. I just couldn't do it. How do you get over hurting someone who is a good person and I am not referrring to the harassment during divorce. He did that out of anger. I actually took it in for a time and felt like I deserved it for leaving. We have no drama , just parent our and communicate but I am guilt ridden and it is a feeling that won't go away. norway girls
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I look into domestic violence. a lot of things he does is very selfish and so hard for me to deal am the always bad person he use verbal all the puts me down and curses. I mean little curse doesn't bother me but he is very loud and my heart beats so fast everytime he day when he comes home I look at his face and worry he might gets mad and 't I forget to do anything today?Oh I forgot to put shade down thinking things that in my head and heara him start to cursing it was a hot day he turn the AC on at the night but when he leaves. he turns it off and leave the window open then hot sticky air comes inside and made it so uncomfortable to hates me turn AC on during the day even when it was really hot told me and my to go to outside to find cool out that day was really 't know where to go he didn't give me any money for my to buy any drink or taking bus to go have little saving when i was working as a part time a while It be gone put sitting add to computer but lately not people I don't have phone or internet access all the time so makes it harder for getting husband buys things for him and I understand it is his money but We need basic things in home like regular phone at least I am not asking too much I don't said I don't help do whatever I can do used to work from home even while my was in school just that work got slow so they don't have any work for is getting bigger and he eats a lot everytime we walk around he ask me to buy things so I buy him things with my saved money and my husband never pay for things like of the time I bring things from home but my is getting sick of eating peanuts butter and can not eat them so I understand but my husband doesn't he does is screaming and cursing. take a look you wont be sorry
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