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It can't be all one way, or the other nor can it be completely equal. In this area, TRUST and respect matter more than any other. There's bound to be an impasse, no matter what you do. It's those times when one of you HAS to make the decision they feel is best and the other one has to TRUST in that decision and abide by it. You give the power to decide to your spouse, even if you don't agree with it. This isn't so hard to do if you TRUST your spouse to keep your family's best interest in mind. You don't have to agree with his or her decision, but you DO have to trust that s/he is making a fair and just decision. For example, we helped a family member this year with a huge project she needed a ravine cleared of trees, culverts installed, and the whole thing filled in. This required extensive use of a backhoe, chainsaws, crew to help, wear and tear on our equipment and vehicles, risk to life and limb, and $$$MONEY$$$ which neither of us had just lying around. I was deeply afraid for our budget, and argued for the project to be delayed until she could pay for it, or just abandoned (it wasn't a necessity). I could not where we'd get the money. I relented to DH, because I trusted him. And even if the project failed or went bust, I knew he would never risk our own welfare to complete it. Each week, we scrambled to find money for one part or another. We got through it, the job is 70% finished and hold for the, and didn't drive us to the poorhouse, we still eat quite well and stay warm and dry. There are other areas in which DH bends to my, too, even though he disagrees such as maintaining what we need for the house, computer equipment, and managing the weekly budget. It has worked out that he's in charge of the big decisions, and I keep all the mountains of little ones at bay so they don't become big ones. It's a workable balance of power. I don't intrude on his areas of expertise (seeing the bigger picture and planning for the future), and he doesn't intrude on mine (attentiveness to detail, keeping the machine oiled and running smoothly). One reason this works is because we know that trust is earned, not blindly given. We don't just do whatever the hell we want, because we know making a wrong move could damage trust. for reala free discreet sex older womenI learned that in a hospital, they ALWAYS tell you "You're doing so well!" in the mistaken notion that BELIEVING you are doing well make it so. I'm really annoyed by "magical thinking", by the way, except of course when I'm actually practicing the Craft and TRYING to be magical. Anyway, my brother is an MD, and HE got the real story they thought I was toast for the first days. I say this I didn't a light exactly, but I did come to the edge. I was thinking about either going on through, or going BACK but I knew that going back would involve a lot of suffering. Then I thought "Oh shit. If I die right now, my ex-wife won't know who to and what information to give to collect the life insurance!" So I essentially told the Universe "Um, actually, I have to go fill out some paperwork. I'll be back later. Possibly MUCH later " Despite being a HUGE headonist, I really think I am a good person, and when it all came down to it, my ex-wife and my were what mattered to me. I didn't think I'd ever be able to walk again. I certainly didn't think I'd be able to walk half as good as I do now. I am starting to think that maybe, if I keep hitting the gym and do my yoga , my strength and balance be good enough some day that I'll be able to dance or even run again. internet dating service
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