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First, you find the occasional relationship with someone who is dramatiy older than you that works. We all know someone who's done it, my own sister is very happy with her BF who is 11 years older than she is. He is a good, and they fit well. However, -/December relationships that work well in the term are the exception, not the rule and it sounds like you have built up a pattern of this, not just that one random guy was perfect for you and happened to be older. In general, older men want very women (girls really) of your age because they want someone they can control, or someone who is not powerful enough to stand up to them. Or maybe they're attracted to really girls and they want to trade their model in every few years for a new hot thing. In any case, at your age I would not date anyone that is more than 4-5 years older than you. You change a LOT in your 20's. I was very mature for my age, very responsible and I thought that when I graduated college at 22 I was grown up. Little did I know that at 30, I would feel like a totally different person. Right now is the time to get to know yourself, work on your education and future so that you have choices, and meet lots of different men. With regards to meeting and being attracted to men who are taken, don't do that. Make a point to figure out of guys are dating someone or married, and if they are, simply don't out with them alone and don't let yourself develop feelings. Believe me, I've gotten an errant crush or two on a taken guy, but when I find out they're taken I work hard to turn it off, and I don't put myself in lots of situations around them so that I can get over it. There are good guys out there, they are not all taken, and they are not all after one thing. The trick is weeding through the creepy guys until you find them. Where do you usually meet men? If it's in a bar or club, your chances of meeting a nice guy are slimmer than they would be at your school or in the library or a church group or a volunteer organization. Also try and figure out if you initially get the hots for bad boys or dangerous vibe guys. There are some great guys out there who are looking for nice women too. looking for grey actually raven
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