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excellent point. in addition, read carefully: you do pick the women you date. if you didn't, then you'd be with the first wierdo that oogled you. if you didn't pick your partner, then you are either: a) attracted to every single female on earth, or b) you'd be in relationships with people you are not attracted to. I'm going to go out on a limb here by saying that the none of the above criteria apply to you; hence you are choosing. secondly, you need to understand that patterns exist, with all of us, in the way we determine who we date and how we behave with others. we are not consciously aware of these patterns most of the time the qualities we are attracted in a mate stem from the way we were parented; very often in relationships, partners act out certain behaviors that went unresolved in childhood you don't have to be dysfunctional to do this (we all have unresolved issues from childhood, some to a higher degree than others and we all, in some fashion, act them out). we are not consciously aware that we are behaving this way! the point is that the particular women you are choosing, all share certain characteristics and . you are subconsciously picking these. I don't know why you are picking them, you probably don't know why you are picking them, but you are picking them. if you practiced some introspection, you might realize why it's complicated, not an easy answer but not impossible to determine. it is not necessary to come to terms with why you are choosing a certain type of person, what is important is an awareness of your own behavior, and the consequences thereof. it is the first step in promoting change which can result in more satisfying relationships. come get this tonight girlfriend needed for aa couple
I just barely learned of the borderline thing of weeks ago. Happened upon the book 'surviving a borderline parent'. It was a shockingly illuminating read!!! 98% every applicable. I'm so grateful to have learned that, so now I can start shoveling myself back together lol. I got over the jerk ex rapist. boyfriend years ago, I don't care, yes I'm over that. My mother, no. My dad ignoring everything? no. What I sooooooo desperately want to get past now that I understand it is self-sabotaging all my life. Abusive relationships I plopped myself into. Dumb feelings that I'm experiencing with the great I finally have for no reason? Guilt. Guilt because I wanted a different mother. Numbness. She almost died two years ago, multiple hemorrhagic stem strokes. I was there with her when it happened, I took her to ER barely in time for it to happen and was there watching while the ER people ran around. Surreal. Numb. I never felt sadness or pain, just nothing. And still nothing, and so guilty for that still. I want to get my feelings back before she's gone forever. I do her You've been through it, haven't you? And now I'm crying :( Thank you any ladies up for some pnpit's preposterous and myopic to imagine it was the most devastating global event of the decade. Totally agree the media's annual week /month observations stem from and encourage a Copernican view of the US and further agree that kind of view is what sparked such hatred in the first place. But it's an event most of us shared. Plus, the top post was from a NYer to me, that was significant. I can't fault those who witnessed it, lived with the stench of seared bodies, and/or lost a loved one for wanting a little catharsis today or any other day. Unfortunately, it was a turning point we're still living with. A turn that led to greater division and demagogy crippling divisions, hate speech, an erosion of rights, protections, and concern for humanity that affects us, our, AND much of the world. The thread was an invitation to discuss that. I strongly believe it's worth discussing and TRYING to attention to the fact that navel-gazing doesn't have to be the only response, that we can and should go deeper than waving and get the ship back on course. And I don't much care which forum it's done on. I just want it done. You, yourself, link to all the lives destroyed by our senselessly destructive response. date ideas
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