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divorce, counseling is not an option. Counseling is not a cure all, it is a tool to aid in communication. You still have to want to make it work. If you are thinking of divorce then stop thinking of other solutions because counseling has no if your frame of mind has one foot already out the door. Repeat counseling is a tool not a panecea to your problems. It is not magic, you still have to put sweat equity into it. Counseling helps to identify where you both are allowing your own pride from keeping you both from communicating. So shit or get off the pot as it were. Sounds like you are on the fence. You are using the thing as an excuse to not commit one way or the other. Ranchos De Taos New Mexico housewife fucking
You know what you're seeing? You are at the stage where putting the best foot forward is no longer the reality. Each of you is starting to show who they really are, oh you're trying to still play the game to an extent, molding your behavior because you're afraid of her reacting to the compliments is an example of it. Only problem with that game is that you can't sustain it, takes too much energy. You know, the only person who really gets us is ourself. You have to communicate that, it's not fair to do it in codes like sarcasm to cover it up. That's a way of avoiding the consequences of what you say, using the "well if you got me you'd understand" bullshit is just that. This is coming from a person with a sarcastic sense of humor. If you want her to "get" you, YOU have to allow her to. That means showing what you really mean, not keep her guessing. Address the real issues in a real sense and use your humor to point out the ironies of life. You probably do need to change your ways to an extent, at least your attitude in placing the responsibility of everyone to figure you out on them or it lead to a lot of issues down the road, not just this relationship. So this is what you do, TALK to her. Just like you've done here to a bunch of people you don't know. Without sarcasm and the cover that it provides so that you SHOW her the real you. No fear and let the chips fall. Your compliments are true and heartfelt right? TELL HER, you're making her figure it out when you'll use sarcasm in one instance and then turn around and do the deadpan dark shit on her the next. Let her know the compliments are going to come, because you think she has qualities you like. NEVER use those against her later in some sarcastic tone. Give it a shot can we both want the same cleanlinessRight now she didn't trust you enough to fill you in on all the details of her life, after all you've only met once and this really is the feeling out stage. Things are often wonderful because you're both able to put your best foot forward, you won't the warts and how they've affected her and then there's your's too. Now you haven't shown her that side have you. Hell a lot of times we don't even have any idea how our bullshit impacts people. We only think we do. So with that lack of trust you looked her up and found a fucking wart what does that say about your honesty? Your level of openness? That in itself is a eye opener. Is THIS a sign of lies and insecure horseshit to come? That damn mirror can suck. Yes there IS a question of when would she tell you and as you can there are differing opinions about that. The unfortunate thing is you didn't give her the so you could make up your mind when the time came. Well now you know, so what are YOU going to do about it? dating for overweight people
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