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found some retail stores looking for holiday help. If someone had told me years ago that I would be living in a small apt that I can barely afford and hunting for a job at age 56 I would have laughed. I always thought that I would be doing something very important and have money to at least be comfortable. Yet here I am with shaking hands circling adds for things that maybe I can do. I am so embarrassed and afraid that I be laughed at or brushed off with a sneer. Most likely I be interviewed by someone in his/her 20s who be shocked to someone my age needing money so bad. I look in the mirror and I someone that I don't know at all someone who is too big and too tall and has hair that is the wrong shade and turning gray someone who looks old and tired and not in the least bit attractive or stylish. Not only that, I have made poor choices all my life and allowed opportunities to pass me by. Yet tomorrow I put on my one good outfit and my one nice pair of shoes and I go to these places and try to get someone to give me a. There are some good things about me. I am kind and friendly and honest. I am willing to work hard to earn the money. I am dependable and punctual and take responsibility seriously. I am able to work late and would be happy to work extra hours holidays or weekends or whatever hours they need someone to work. I arrive early and not ever complain about leaving late. I treat every customer with respect and help them as much as possible so that they want to return. I am ready to do this if our men and women can march off to, I guess I can walk into a department store and ask for a job. Thank you so much all of you for your help especially you, career insight you have helped me to hold my head up and get some courage. need to get laid or a bjExcept that I was a 15-yo runaway, taken in by an older brother and his wife for awhile (with little ones), and later an older aunt and uncle who'd already raised teenagers. I was rebellious as hell, coming from years of in a dysfunctional home. It's a miracle that I didn't end up pregnant or on through this stage of my teen years. My brother and his wife tried, but I was a bit more than they could handle effectively. After a year, they sent me to live with my aunt and uncle hoping they'd have more room and experience. Let me tell you what worked for me: My aunt and uncle welcomed me with open arms, and no judgments for what I'd done in the past, nor pity for what had been done to me. Just an open door and open hearts. They set the rules at the very start. Not extreme, just clear and delivered with respect and. They laid out expectations for me go to school, work to make good grades, and help with household chores. In return, I'd have freedom to participate in after-school activities and spend time with the friends I would make. If I proved my worth, uncle would buy a VW bug for me to drive to school (I was a 16-yo senior in HS). As as my grades held up, I could get a job. As as I honored curfew, I would have freedom. And so on. And they TRUSTED me. Blind trust always, until I showed any reason I could not be trusted then watch out, they were quite consistent and unyielding on consequences. I might have rebelled a bit at the time, but let me tell you: I LOVED that structure! I could absolutely depend on them to be unflinchingly loving and consistent. They were an open book to me I knew *always* what I could expect, good or bad. Even punishments were delivered with and respect. I don't re my uncle *ever* raising his voice or making me feel small for screwing up. And once that consequence was complete, it was NOT held over my head. That trust was back in place. God, how I loved that and honored them for it. One thing which have been a lifesaver: They took a risk, invited some girls about my age on a boating trip (we lived near a lake). These were daughters of some of my uncle's trusted friends. I DID hit it off with these girls, and the friendship was off and running. Kept me away from a worse crowd, at least. woman wants for sex
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