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blond girl driving rav4 I feel like I should update even though there's not much to report yet. I tried to talk to him about it last night, but he shut down and got quiet. It frustrates me when he does this (and I should be used to it after 12 years of marriage um, no), but I'm trying not to read too much into it. I've learned not to assume the worst when he gets quiet he just has trouble expressing himself with difficult topics (we could be talking about money just as much as sex). We were cuddling in bed tonight when he told me that he needed some time to "prepare" his thoughts and words. I don't know what this means (is he going to write a speech?!?), but I think it's a good sign and hopefully he's not just stalling. We won't each other tonight, so we agreed talk tomorrow night. I'd like to clear something up, as well. Maybe my enthusiasm about the experience was exaggerated in my op. Everything I said what and how I felt is true, but I've never said this to my husband. When he asked me how it was, I told him it was fun, but that it was all for him and that it was nothing compared to what he gives me (and I have told hubby that using much dirtier talk but I'll spare the rest of you!). Also, I haven't told him of my to do this more, and now I'm doubting my own desires caught up in the moment, I suppose. I my husband, and he is and always be first.
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I don't trust people and my distrust has served me well. It sounds like your situation was a bit more sever than mine but you did have parents that stuck together. What you didn't mention, and your therapist should have touched upon, is that the rage your parents seemed to have towards you was likely a mask for their rage towards eachother. Do I have siblings? Yes. I have a younger sister that's still alive, an older sister that died a couple years ago. And I found out recently (for sure) that I have a half brother that's mentally defective and has been institutionalized his whole life. My older sister was also a sociopath. She could lie with a straight face, take advantage of anyone without remorse and project her guilt on a whim. A trait my ex also possesses. Dating since divorce? It's been interesting. I don't let people in very easy but when I have, I've been disappointed. As as I open up I am either judged or taken advantage of, or both. But this doesn't mean I lie or am disrespectful. I'm just cautious and that caution keeps me from getting screwed over. My childhood doesn't affect my adulthood as much as it does with others. My marriage isn't something I hold against future partners. I don't the emotion forward, despite what people here might think. I merely patterns in life and can extrapolate from past experiences how the present is and what the future be. I do have. One is like my ex so we don't talk. She got mad at me because I didn't want to go to a party she was having because all of her friends are drama queens. That was all it took for her to disown me. One of my other comes to me at least once a week, sometimes more and the other one visits every couple of months. He's very involved with his GF so he doesn't visit anyone very much. My own family I talk to my younger sister occasionally. And she's the only one in 20 years other than a 15 minute conversation with my dad who was on his death bed. i love Ozona and sucking
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