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Actually, that's BS. You need to have your own boundaries and it's not up to him to tell you what they should be. That's a difficult and painful truth, especially for the person on the other side of the boundary. Believe me, this come up. And not just about sex. don't do anything you don't want to do just for him. You not feel (when you're 30) like he *thinks* you at all. You're not him. He can't read your mind, nor can he predict the future. But if this turns you on if you like the idea of fucking someone while he watches then by all means go for it. He's offering this to you as a gift; you can accept or reject it, it's up to you. It's all about you here. Yeah it be a turn on for him if you WANT to do it. If he is indeed committed to you like you think he is it would be a huge turn OFF for him if you did NOT want to do it but do it just for him (even if you get off), unless you're a very good liar, but you'll regret it later and it even cause more problems. If it were me and my wife offered this to me, I'd do it before she changed her mind but I'm wired that way ;) hungry for pussy kik meDear compassionate one, Please never disregard your gut feelings about a person and/or situation. Disregarding our intuition usually lands us in a mess or in danger. You are obviously very wise and mature to pick up on these red flags. They are definitely not in your imagination. Your "friend" is obviously operating from a state of fear. Fear promotes irrational and neurotic thoughts and behaviors. He be suffering from some degree of post-traumatic stress syndrome, but would have to a professional for a diagnosis. It is not wrong, weak, or unhealthy for you to feel compassion for him for his losses and his current state of pain. However, as any professional counselor tell you, all your and compassion won't fix him. It is natural to be attracted to his positive attributes. But from the obsessive/compulsive behaviors he's demonstrated in such a very short period of time, his unhealthy side would dominate the relationship. His need to make it official so is an indication that he is not operating from a place a strength. He is making the very common mistake that of us often do by jumping back into a relationship to heal the wounds and fill the emptiness of the one(s) that previously ended. I one thing that you learned from this is that if something does not "feel" right, there is usually a valid reason. I have one important word for you boundaries! You compromised your boundaries in the beginning by giving in to his pressure for a commitment too. You recovered by re-establishing your boundaries by declaring that you not open your life to a person who does not respect your time, personal space, etc But do you how you felt bad for establishing that boundary with him.? There is a great book titled "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend that you find very insightful. I think anyone would benefit from reading that book. Boundaries can be tricky, but stick to your instincts. It's understandable that you his good side, but please don't trick yourself into thinking that you can somehow have the side without the weight and toll of the unhealthy. Perhaps you could find peace in praying for him.? Be intentional and determined to meet a guy who has his wonderful qualities. Please don't settle! Best wishes to you! free dating chat rooms
take advantage of this 21 yr old virgin seems like he has boundary issues you want to think about how that is going to play out in a setting in which you are having to negotiate boundaries repeatedly as issues come up. Can you trust him to respect them? Initially, I was thinking everyone deserves a 2nd, we all make mistakes and that doesn't necessarily mean we'll repeat them (though people do). But when you added the bit about it being a barely legal student of his, that threw a whole bunch more red flags on the field. You be suited for, and have the ethical integrity to be poly I'm not so sure about him, though.
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