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Hamilton married women looking after all this time, having all these problems, why are you determined that this is the only relationship you can ever have? There's a whole big world out there. This is not the last of his species, you know. How much of your life, and your -' lives, are you going to spend beating that dead horse? Any relationship that takes constant work and does not improve isn't the right relationship, in my opinion. A good, happy relationship with a person you actually "relate" to isn't constant hard work to maintain, it's a pleasure most of the time. Shit happens, you get through it, but if it's ALL shit and ALWAYS needs work, you're in the wrong relationship with the wrong person. Maybe you can separate and still be friends, maybe not, but he doesn't sound like good friend material, either, much less a partner for life. He's not going to change you and you're obviously not going to change him. If you want to waste your life trying to force a round into a square hole, no one can stop you, but you do have to consider. You can be self-indulgent and dedicate your life to this guy as if he's the only thing that matters in your world but if it affects your, you should probably snap out of it. It probably has already. You both sound like exactly the wrong person for each other and it sounds like you're staying together for convenience and because you're both too complacent and either stubborn or lazy to get your own individual lives together, without the crutch of each other to deal with. Let him live his life and take care of his own problems, and you live your life and take care of yours. It sounds like you've spent enough of your life with him. You want a happy life, go have one. You don't owe him your life because you've been friends since childhood, you know. A REAL friend would want you to have a happy life, and wouldn't stand in your way.
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