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I close my eyes and begin to make my throat swallow and I feel him cum at the back of my throat. He cries out. I pull back and fall onto my feet away from him. He leans against the tree panting. I gathered my self, pulled my sweater down and headed toward the log. I hit it at a full on run. I was across and down in seconds. I hear him curse behind me. I didn’t look back. I ran all the way back to the house. When I broke out of the trees and into the clearing at my back yard I turned around. I didn’t anything. The only thing I could hear is my breath and my heart beat in my ears. I started to laugh. I fell down on to the ground looking up at the sky breathing hard. When I could breathe normal again I got up and wiped the dirt and leaves from me and went inside. Night was now in full affect and the stars were twinkling above. As I made dinner I kept looking to the back of the house and through the trees to if anyone was there. After dinner, cleaning the kitchen, and getting the clean and ready for bed I made my self a hot cup of tea and went out onto the front porch with my book. I sat smiling to myself for a few minutes thinking about him; thinking about Sir. After my unwinding and reading one of my perverted fiction novels I took myself into my shower and let the hot water run over my body. Taking time to wash my hair and to feel the soap run down my body. I slid my hand around my breast and pinched my nipples and remembered Sir’s hands and pinched them harder. I ran my hand down my stomach and parted my lips and found my little clit and began to rub it softly. I moaned and thought about his cock in my mouth, the way he tasted, the feel of him on my tongue and against my throat. How his cock filled my mouth. I rubbed my clit faster and harder. My body felt like it was burning up inside. I thought about what he would feel like if I would have let his hot cock part my lips and push deep inside. I felt the heat pouring into my stomach and getting hotter. Faster and faster rubbed; and then I stopped… Me: why, why, why am I doing this…? have sex with woman Avila BeachMaybe it's a "control freakout", but I just can't help but possibly this as hesitation on his part. He has been vague, indecisive, on the fence since day one. At 5mo of dating I asked him where we stand (bf/gf?) he responded: "I definitely feel like I'm in a relationship w/ you, I that, but there are still some things I'm unsure about". I said "okay" dropped it. Two days later, on his he lists himself as "In a Relationship". I had to actually ask him he said "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that- w/ you!" I was happy, but *sigh*. Then the ? was "Is he moving in or moving away?" 'Cause after I brought up that he should “think about” (figured I'd give him time to mull it over) moving in, he started talking about moving out of state! Tired of it, after really going over it in my head, I told him I couldn't do it anymore. I him, I wish him luck, but I need to move forward w/ my life. I was okay w/ that decision, though I was very hurt. After a year of "I don't knows" "I you, but"'s, I was fed up. He didn’t have to move in, but to suddenly start saying “I move to FL” after leading me to believe he had changed his mind (as aforementioned, he mentioned it early in the relationship, but then seemed to begin to make plans here instead). Hours later it was "I you, I think we can have a great life together", "I'm sorry I don't talk more", etc I thought "he's afraid of losing me or being the one left behind", but I talked it out with him- gave it a shot. Two days later: "I think my dresser would fit nicely here ". Within a week, boxes moving in. Now this. On the same note, he's talking about our next house /but he doesn't know if he can ever actually me. (Not that I’m ready, but eh!?) At one point, he said he didn't think he could ever move in w/ me. (He hates that I'm divorced, but has developed a great relationship w/ my.) So, if I'm feeling frantic, it's cause I feel I deserve him to shoot straight. I hate the knot in my stomach. I appreciate that he loves me has tried ( succeeded) one step at a time to get over his apprehensions w/ me (he was terrified of the at first, still dislikes the idea of my ex bein’ in my life, etc…), but geez! wants my soulmate
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