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Thanks all for the posts. Why did I her? The best answer I could give as to why we've taken so steps together is. Throughout our time together, there have been periods of functioning that have given me. Some where longer than others but all were very good. I've seen the partner I could have. Unfortunately, we are in a down-turn for about a year now. Therapist is encouraging meds and we be close to restarting them (they worked in the past). My wife is in the field and sometimes the cobblers have no shoes. I think the is too old for PPD. She's been seeing a therapist for a while and there has been no mention of that but who knows. I've talked to my wife before on good days and bad. The conversation turns a good day to bad and a bad day to hell. She feels guilty which makes her angry with me. At times, she told me to leave if I'm so unhappy. Since I'd rather not talk to her, I clam up which leads to resentment. I think Ubel's post is spot on "What if she's doing absolutely the best she can? What if it takes every once of graymatter she has in her skull just to make it through the day?". This is where we are and I'm trying to live with it but I'm human I can get angry and that can lead to hate sometimes. Maybe I don't hate her but I hate the situation. As for SillyJoe's post, I'm thinking about whether my needs are needs or preferences. Again, I'm trying to find peace in where we are now but not resent her.
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