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The advice I got from my first post was basiy what are you waiting for. Every comment directed me to speak or act out on things. I took that advice to heart. It was I who then chose the means. I read this second thread again. My posts seemed strange to me. people ed them fiction. I agree in a way. Deliberately telling things as a story was itself a kind of lie. Reading both threads now I several things I did not before. It is painful but helps. I do not feel as numb. The best comment to me was that I am not worthy of my friend. I know that is obvious but I sometimes need to hear the obvious said by someone. I am thinking the comment did not go far enough. It would be better to say that I am not worthy of anything at all. I need to become invisible. On the laughing at me thing I did not understand. Maybe those people were not grown. Some here might be teenagers. I would like to laugh. Wish there was a way to laugh. looking for a wet and wild time with a beautiful ladyThere is a significant number of resources out there about opening relationships and the forms relationships can take. I've found Taormino's "Opening Up" helpful, Although your enthusiasm is totally understandable, if this is a relationship you want to remain in for some time, investing time in creating what you want is well worth the. My husband and I began to discuss our kinky interests years ago, after almost 10 years of being together, and those discussions lead us to where we are now, a much different, yet much more meaningful, relationship. You can definitely work out the initial details of how to arrange this fantasy, but you won't know the outcome until you make a leap. Clarify as much as you can, agree to certain signals, maintain a sense of humor, and agree to debrief after. There are some clubs, generally described as swingers clubs, where you can have public sex. We have one in a larger city, Club Sesso in Portland, and are planning to go tour and possibly attend an event some time this. Being watched appeals to me, but not group sex or switching partners. The club rules indicate sexual activity is not expected, contact with others is strictly up to the individual, and they have numerous staff members present, so I feel fairly comfortable with the setting. Still can't believe I'm wanting to give it a go, but excited at the same time. easy flirt
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