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He eats combinations of stuff that he KNOWS cause him problems (these are real problems, not just a mere tummy ache) and then I get to enjoy it all later. A couple of days ago it was brats with sauerkraut AND onions, hot n' spicy homemade pickles with garlic, and lagers. If it were one small fart or the occasional groan from a tummy ache, fine. I can deal. But he has FUCKING REFLUX! So I get to listen to the following: One to two hours of pure bitching, burping and farting, the bottle of Tums rattling around the whole night, and wake up with him snoring in my face, mouth wide open, and every exhale is full of the lovely smell of garlic, onion and beer, while his gut is gurgling and he is snoring and groaning, tossing and turning. Not to mention the goddamned Dutch oven. God DAMN it I hate moving to the sofa at 1:00.! Helper county sexy wives
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