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A person once told me that I had to remember. They said I had to remember that in the entire history of the universe you’re the only ‘you’ that has ever existed and ever exist. They sheeted my ego and went onto to say that there’s nobody in existence who is you and no one can ever the world the way you it and can tell the rest of us how it looks and this perspective might be so different and so beautiful that it changes everything. I wonder about beauty now when I think of those words. Male Beauty. Female Beauty. Androgynous Beauty. When I realized the power of truly becoming an individual my mind became a cradle and I finally felt a sense of home. I want to find and reach out to a woman who feels the same, that artist who is constantly hunting, stalking, lusting for more. My mind drifts idily as I sit in this warmly lit tea and coffee shop, fingers braced against keyboard and thoughts wrapped around the hazzards of the new mind aesthetic. What does beauty mean anymore really and how could it change anything? Is it just a collateral of the everyday being or a fabricated affectation? It all makes me think of my ex and consider her in the same context. She was the cold ice that me and proceeded in devouring me. Her dour and darkness was infinitely appealing and she was aware of this. To her it was just another one of the enjoyably unresolvable enigmas posed by her infinitely superficial character and no matter how layers were taken off there was never any depth to an encounter with her it all just was. She just sort of flowed over you. There was just this cruelty to her words and a disquiet to her gait and nothing softened her effect on people. swingers club with old lady Nijmegen
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