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I am just wondering what the women here have to share that would or wouldn't work with them. Fairly term girlfriend is more than happy to play with restraints and teasing but is so worried about taking it too far, it's impossible to take the whole thing seriously. She just backs off the second there is any slight show of "ok now this is slightly intense" that comes across Tried just reassuring before that there is a distance to go before there is anything to be worried about pushing, and tried asking to not worry about the situation being totally enjoyable during but just remembering what I said was fine to take it to. Now I've got only two real thoughts left- Do I write out a play by play and leave it where it eventually be found around our place with a note saying it'd be something I'd like if she at some point went all the way to where the scenerio I describe does or further, saying I want he to stop feeling so nervous about making a little misstep? Or, do I try to change the objective by saying that just to what happens, we should have one evening where she can pick a vacation for us the next weekend if she can push til I have to use a safeword, while also letting her know she'll have to actually try because if I don't use it, she owes me some agreed to favor that I'd really want to not lose out on? Not asking for there to be a need for medical attention afterward or blood to be drawn, just to not feel bad about hearing a little frustration or feeling of actual discontentment for a moment . generous guy needing a massageDivorce is only an option when she's exhausted all other avenues. And sounds like she hasn't yet. The OP sounds like she is blaming, blaming, blaming her asshole husband, without taking any responsibility herself. We are only hearing her side of the story. We have no idea if she is instigating anything, if she is nagging him, if she is just suffering silently, or if she is doing the right thing (regardless of whether it works or not) trying peaceably and maturely to let her grievances be heard. That's exhausting all avenues. Yes, he say a big "fuck you" to her if she had tried that, and that would be the time to say goodbye. Because she's exhausted all avenues. But if she hasn't, then he hasn't even been given a to correct his poor behaviors. He not correct them he become a petulant, not taking responsibility for his behaviors and again, that would be time to say goodbye. Because she's exhausted all avenues. It is a sucky situation. I've been where she's at with that kind of. And I did try the "right" way to resolve things, just so I could be satisfied that at least I tried, even if he didn't. I exhausted all avenues. That's my point. That's when divorce is a fix. When all avenues have been exhausted. Not when she's mad at him and not doing anything about it. looking for some afternoon fun
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