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Depending on where you live, there are local BDSM groups. They often have social get togethers ed "munches" and some of the more organized groups have websites and do skill seminars or conferences. If you e "bdsm checklist", there are a bunch on line. Find one you like, print it out, and both of you do it and trade. People with interests in the dom/sub stuff are individuals, and everyone likes things differently. It helps to have a common place to start talking. I'm a switch. One of my subs would write a journal. That helped me get feedback (she was shy about direct talking a lot of times) about what she liked/didn't like/tolerated because I enjoyed it/never wanted to do safeword city. Since I couldn't read minds and what does being a sub mean to her? There is so much variance out there. that helps! Feel free to post questions or read archives on this forum. average looking nude middle aged grannies
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