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Do you have clear-cut goals? What are they (if you're willing to share)? I have always had clear-cut goals, and have frequently written them down, or written about them. Some are simple and clearly defined, like no wheat, sugar or animal products from 1 Sept 1. Some are fuzzier with no clear end, but are in my mind simply as the next step to take, such as the class I'm starting, the outcome of which is hazy and as-yet-undetermined. Similar to the "scheduling" poll, my goals in my teens and 20s were clearly outlined with an action plan. The events of my teens and twenties have driven home the meaning of a couple of sayings: Be careful what you wish for and Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. So now, rather than attempt to plan out all the steps needed to reach my goal, I concern myself with the choices in front of me *right now* and ensure the choices I make are moving me in the direction in which I want to travel. Have your goals changed over time? Absolutely. I'd say over time, I put less energy into attempting to control a lot of aspects of my life, and I embrace more possibilities by not making decisions about everything immediately. What do you do when you complete your goals? Depends on what it is. If there's a moment of achievement like graduating from a school or getting a business, we celebrate with friends and food. If it's personal, like finishing a book, losing weight, reaching an understanding of something that was puzzling me, I just feel quietly satisfied. Deerfield Beach puerto rican slutsWe were married for 13 years, got divorced and maintained seperate households, shared custody of. I was a drunk (reason for divorce) but got serious about sobriety while single. She started showing interest and we dated for a year, then I moved back in. We did not get remarried just because we felt like that was a jinx. We stayed together like a married couple for 21 more years, and I found out that she had been having a sexual affair for almost two years. She had presented herself as divorced and she got taken up on it. Little by little I watched her become a floozy and a liar. This time SHE was the drunk and it has totally ruined her personality as far as I'm concerned. I tried desperately to win her back, to get her to end the affair, and she repeatedly told me that she had, and that I was her only. I caught her red-handed times, that last of which I took a picture of her car in his driveway. I confronted her that night (she came home 5 hours later with her hair and clothes totally messed up, and she was drunk), and she said it wasn't her car! I told her I wouldn't talk to her again until she was ready to come clean. She said "whatever". I stayed another days while I was making arrangements to get out. She never once tried to get honest with me, and I left her 20 days ago. She is going to the bf in two months, according to my granddaughter. She tried to me for support, but since we never remarried, she gets nothing unless I do it voluntarily. I was being a hardass, no communication, no money, but the truth is I need those house payments made or it's my neck on the line. I'm doing a lot of hard thinking, but from my perspective, getting back together was the very worst 21 years of my life. horney moms
looking for what i desire It's not your job to get your father to change, attempting to cause frustration, anger and resentment on both sides. Relationships ALL relationships involve acceptance of people's faults and working around them, not trying to manipulate them into YOUR version of who they should be. It isn't as easy as it sounds hence divorce rates, standing friendships that end, job dissatisfaction, and endless list. There is a part of human nature that wants to control their environment and you'll it every day. An example would be in the work place how often do we hear people talk about what they would do if they were the boss and question the actions taken. It's out of their control and they believe they know the solutions. You ARE growing and as you have your parents are becoming human and you're asking how you let one of them in on their faults. Comes from some good things like wanting to improve a relationship, thinking that HIS life would be better (very wrong thinking there but I feel it's because you care) and it comes from some selfish motivations. Like you putting yourself into a position of needing him and facing these things every day that isn't his fault, its yours. YOU are contributing to the breakdown of your relationship with your father by being there. Think hard, don't you have friends that you really care about that you wouldn't want to live with? Things about them you don't think are right but hey, they are a friend and you them for who they are you don't HAVE to deal with their shit day in and day out. That's no different than this it really isn't. We're not talking about or physical acts of violence here, we are talking about personality. He's still with all this asshole aspects they same guy who is giving you a place to stay, who had you do book reports, talked to you when you were - him for it and accept the rest and get out so it's easy. And for fuck sake, leave the rest of the family out of it. No more behind his back talk with the rest of the 'gang' who jump on board. Have YOUR relationship with him your mom and him are divorced so as an adult act like one. Get your place to stay, either deal with a roommate or realize if you can't because of an animal you aren't truly ready to care for one on your own. Hard choices adult choices. local milfs Top Kapusi
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Haugen is right that the marriage divide is largely generational, and in reading her candid statement, I couldn't help thinking that this is how my parents felt when I told them I was, when I met my partner, and when we got married. Growing up in conservative households, they both had what seemed at the time unshakeable convictions about homosexuality. At the tail end of the '90s, meant AIDS, and even once I convinced them that I might get through life without contracting HIV, they still thought that the "- lifestyle"—which in their imagination must have consisted of meth-fueled orgies and cross-dressing—led inexorably to unhappiness. Years passed without their nerdy, neurotic kid starring in a porno, and they begrudgingly came to accept that I'd quite simply grown into a nerdy, neurotic adult. But they ed my boyfriend my "friend" until I'd had enough and made a stink about it, after which they reluctantly gave in, ing him—haltingly, under their breath—"your boyfriend." By the time we got married a year ago, they just ed him, and they drove all the way from Arizona to Washington. (my mom is deathly afraid of flying) for the wedding. Having your core beliefs challenged is indeed uncomfortable, and it takes courage. I'm partially making fun of my parents here, and there's a lot that's funny—my mom once asked me, after I told her that I was helping coordinate Trans Awareness Week at Yale, "Are you transgender now?" But the point is that having a challenged of their expectations and forced them to change. This process wasn't short—it took ten years—and to say it was "uncomfortable" for them is an understatement. Absolutism is comfortable. This is why those on the other side of the marriage divide often talk about how "commonsense" their opposition is and assail people like Haugen for being "moral relativists." But rather than representing a lack of conviction, Haugen's respect for those who believe and live differently from her is its own ethic—one that forms the basis for a humane and equitable society. gen guy looking for a cool guy woman needing man to blow her
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