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Hey everyone, This is my first time contributing to a thread like this but desperate times for desperate measures. Maybe someone out there have the much needed words of wisdom I could use (and I apologize for the rambling style of this post)It is obviously about my relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over years now. We have lived together for over a year. I am graduating this semester and have been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. It's been our plan to move somewhere together and set our lives up together. But lately, as the graduation date approaches, I can't help but have this drive to break it off and go out in the world and establish my life and find out who I am before I can truly commit to anyone. I do not feel like this is a wrong thing to feel but I do however, feel bad about the situation. He is a good guy, he has been supporting me while I've been in school. We get along fairly well. It's not like he beats me and I am in a toxic relationship and therefore need to get out. It's more of a..I'm, do I really know if this is what I want for the rest of my life? I think it would be worse for us to move somewhere together and then I realize that I want to be single and find my barrings because then we would both be in this new place with no resources to get back on our feet. I think I want to end this. But since I feel this way, should I do it now? Graduation is in 5 months, 5 months is a time to put on a facade when your heart is telling you something. If I were to end it now I would have to find a way to move out (I currently do not have my own transportation) find a new place to live near campus and find new employment. I know it sounds selfish to stay with someone due to stability and convenience but I feel as though I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Am I crazy to end a fairly good thing just because I feel uncertain and too to truly commit to such a serious relationship? If my mind has been made up, should I end it right now instead of waiting for the graduation date? What would be the best way to end said serious relationship? Serious replies please. I could use some advice. Thank you world. any ladies up for a drink tonight my treat
You're stressed now and have been for a while. Part of the reason you got so unhappy over work is lack of balance. So please, please, use this time off to take GREAT care of yourself. Reach out to friends. Make new friends. Work on getting balance in your life so you're not ruminating about work. It help your performance and mood to lead a more balanced life. In the last thread, I wanted recommend cognitive therapy. I can't write more right now but I could you live in your head and tend to rev yourself up over all the bad things you can think of. Cognitive therapy teach how to break that habit. It's truly the best thing you can do for your career. You really can't go on accumulating grievances and mulling over all the ways you're being mistreated. It's a perceptual error. You'll go crazy if you continue thinking that way you'll drive others crazy too. Cognitive therapy is great stuff. Learn the techniques, don't just go through the motions, or dismiss it as "positive thinking" which is what those who don't understand it mistake it for. It is training in REALISTIC thinking. Not positive, not negative. months of cog therapy practice give you a new lease on life. This is the PERFECT time to learn it. interracial hookups ButteI think there are LOTS of happily married people, though I have no idea if it's 'most'. I think there are a few things that play into the appearance of lots of unhappy couples. 1. Generational reasons for marriage. My grandparents probably never should or would have married each other if they came of age now. They wed very and stuck it out through things I wouldn't have (like -). My mom divorced 2x. She's a boomer. I think for her generation, for some the pendulum swung the other way. Suddenly you didn't have to put up with crap and lots of people didn't however they still married. I'm 34, and though my generation is not without issues, lots of us delay marriage quite a bit, and go into it with a little different expectations. Most of my friends, and myself are very happy in our marriages. We're no where near 25 years so we'll -! Fingers crossed. Also, these days you don't HAVE to get married the way you use to, and being is loads more acceptable, so marrying the opposite sex to 'pass' isn't done as much any more. Thank goodness. 2. Unhappy people talk, happy people shut up. You'll always here more about who's unhappy than happy. I think this skews perception. 3. For some people, what they still have in common after years IS their, so I understand why that's such a hot topic. But, I sure don't think that's everyone. I know, for instance, my mom loves me and my brother more than anything and can't wait to be a grandmother. BUT, she travels, sits on local government boards, reads a ton, volunteers like mad. She's one interesting. All her friends seem equally fascinating. It's all who you surround yourself with. 4. Parting thoughts If you feel like marriage is a trap, DO NOT GET MARRIED!!! I think it's so positive that marriage is becoming reserved for those of us who REALLY want it. And I think when you do commit to someone who deeply wants to commit to you, it's actually a very freeing experience. But I deeply respect anyone who chose not to wed knowing it isn't what they want. Choice is such a wonderful thing. fat woman
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