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Is this most wonderful forum really this dead tonight? Fine. Then I'll throw out a question which, seriously, has vexed me for a while now. What is it about letting someone know that we're kinky that makes that other person somehow lose their mind and, more importantly, all sense of decorum, courtesy, and manners? Caveat: This is just the experience of an old gal, with old-fashioned tendencies, who happens to be a sub and isn't afraid to say so. I'm an odd duck even in this world of odd ducks, admittedly. I don't want fancy dinners or flowers. Yep, I too want the thorns. But does that preclude any attempt to get to know me as a person first? Does that automatiy mean that I want to be told, in the first message on Fet, or CM, or CL, that I am supposed to be the cum-dumpster or some other such silly crap? To me, to stand up and let others know what I am doesn't give them some path-of-least-resistance fast track to some pussy or realization of their fantasy. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We must talk a spell, whether online, over the phone, or in person. We must get to know one another, each deciding whether to take things to the next step. For my old and crotchetty ass, we must meet the criteria for a vanilla relationship first. And only then can the kink come into play. Caveat, part deux: I am not judging my friends who can engage in play after a bit of negotiation. Hell, I'm jealous that I can't do it! Sincerely, Mrs. Cleaver :) need my wine bitch
I need to clear a few things up. My husband had addiction problems several years back. I didn't know he was addicted to Loratabs. On his own, still without me knowing anything, he began treatment. The doctor prescribed him some opiiate replacements and anti-depressants. I could tell something was up because his personality changed. He went from and fun, friendly, loving guy with lots of energy to an emotional vegetable. We stop conversing, stop hanging out together, stopped having sex. He was extremely disconnected. I had just began back at college and thought that my schooling was the drain on our relationship. I thought he was no longer interested in me. I thought he was checking out of the relationship. I was discussing this with his step-mom and she mentioned that it could be a possibility since he really wasn't an education kind of guy because he dropped out in the 10th grade. She thought I knew this. I didn't. I was told by him that he graduated. When I confronted him he admitted lying and then admitted the usage. Things were still really bad. I would find out a new lie every week or so. He wouldn't let me be part of his treatment. We lived horribly for about nine months and then I decided I wanted a separation because things had really gotten bad. After being separated a while we decided to try to make it work and have been doing really well for the last year. That's the background of what he did. Here is what I did. I had a hard time forgiving him especially since the lies kept popping up and he was still horribly distant. I knew that I needed time and space to figure things out but didn't know how to tell him. I also really screwed up about a month before I asked for a separation. I cheated on him with a friend of ours who had knowledge about everything that was going on and was a supportive ear. I know that nothing my husband did or didn't do is any excuse for my actions. It's all back story and helps to explain my frame of mind at the time. I thought the end was inevitable. After we separated, I cooled off and could think clearly. I also saw and got to know the that I had married again. We decided to make it work. I decided to not tell him about the affair because I figured it would hurt everyone too much. I also made that decision upon the advice of our marriage counselor. girls looking for sex Brookings South Dakota"I usually don't yell at people, i don't get mad, i discuss, i brainstorm, i argue. but i don't yell scream or break things." This be true, but do you live with these other people you are referring to? "- be another failed romance, another defeat." This statement concerns me. Your post describes her actions or reactions as perceived through your eyes, it is not usually an unbiased observation. don't jump to conclusions, I am not necessarily pointing fingers, but you might consider your own behavior in this relationship. disagreements stem from misinterpretations of words spoken which lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings which escalate and influence other discussions of other topics. Before you cast your net of blame, take a good look at the caster himself. This is a very difficult task because we say things but the listener interpret your words differently than your intend purpose. Sadly they can not read your mind, only your words. If this happens a lot as you implied hmmmm. cybersex chat
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