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wanted mature black woman I'm in my 20s and met a at a singles event. He's about 10 years older. His observations/jokes were subtle, well-timed, and cracked me up So I gave him my number. So he works 70h weeks. It was the holiday. I get it. He's busy. So he texted and/or ed once a week for about a month. I was confused and frustrated. I figured he'd make more of an effort (text more at least?) if he really liked me. (Just not that into me?) To avoid making a fool of myself (I've done the chasing before ), this whole time I've been playing it cool and letting him do the chasing-setting up dates, ing, etc. We finally went on a date and have been on about 5 since. We spend time together weekly but haven't talked about anything serious-previous marriages/relationships, have any, etc. Most of the time I let him steer the conversation. I don't know what it is about him His age maybe? Or constantly talking about his work? The relentless teasing? He teases me about EVERYTHING I DO-the way I say something, my mannerisms, etc. So I just get nervous and react. I normally don't have any trouble asking men questions about themselves but don't feel I ever have the opportunity. I understand teasing be how he flirts but sometimes I don't feel liked or attractive. It's a form of criticism So I find myself just trying to laugh it off to get to the good stuff-real conversation-which I feel I'm waiting for. I'm direct and I'm not sure if he can or ever be. For example, he'll make veiled compliments that'll only register days later. "Where does it all go?" as I'm eating this huge burrito is supposed to be a compliment. Or if I don't stop working and take a break to grab dinner I "might just disappear." I'd rather him feel me up than make these types of comments! No idea what's holding him back I don't have this clear idea about how he feels about me. All I've gotten are kisses "hi" and "bye" and holding hands. Those even confuse me because most of the time he's laughing at me and I feel like more of a friend-or stick figure. I don't WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND. I feel like I'm waiting for him to "be real." Could it be that he's waiting for me too? Or is he just weird? Is his teasing his defense? Is my coolness, getting flustered, waiting for him to lead sending the wrong message and does it have anything to do with how he's acting?
for intellectual decent kind people w we have no session next weekend, holiday, so it's closed. My feelings more are, this is what I've been dealing with for 15 years, plus other things and then of course the dysfunction I've contributed. and I do him but I just don't feel "in -" with him. I'm so afraid of being alone sometimes. I've been with him since I'm 17 so it's all I know. I'm worried about my, worries about standing on my own two feet. but it's also unfair for me to hold onto him for these reasons as well and they are the reasons why I stay. I do plan on talking about this at the next session, I just hate waiting two weeks to do so and of course he's all apologies but I'm just tired of it and tired of the sorries just t obe right back here again in a few days time . I know marriage is hard, been at it for 15 years But now at 33 I realize the importance of growing as a person, we went from t obeing adults overnight, it's really affected me and I feel badly for admitting it but my feelings have changed for him and I don't know if I'll ever get it back .
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