Ladies, may I have your advice? First off, sorry for abusing the categories here. Now, here's what's happening with me: I have a girlfriend. She's really nice (most of the time) and great overall and I love her.. but I do not want to be with her much longer. She has problems, some that can or may be fixed in the future, and some that never will be (mentally related, turns her into someone completely different sometimes) and honestly, I don't feel I can take it any more. It has put so much stress on the relationship lately, it feels like a downward spiral and I kind of want to give up on it and find someone else. I know, I know, that makes me sound like an asshole, and maybe I am. It's just that I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to end up like my uncle, who has devoted the rest of his life to taking care of his mysteriously sick wife. Ten years counting, and that's how it will be until the day she dies. My girl loves me very much, and if I leave her she will be devastated, which I really would rather not do. I am the first guy she has been in a serious relationship with. (She came from the bay area where there are only two types of men: those who like men and scumbags, so a long term relationship with a man was never a big priority until she came here.) I posted recently in men seeking women, talked to a girl for a few days (and rightly felt like an asshole for doing so) but no further than that. In the mean time, I am continuing to tell her I love her (I do, just not in the same way anymore?) and live with her. One main reason I'm not breaking up with her is because I just lost my job over a BS error at work and am not sure where I would go since I can't pay rent. The thought that I'm using her for free housing makes me feel like an even bigger asshole! Not that's the ONLY reason I'm still here, it's just one factor.
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We have discussed it a number of times and as recently as this morning. Today's conversation was prompted by the fact that she has spent the last couple of days clearly stewing on something and I asked her to tell me what it was. Although I'd asked before, this morning she seemed open to telling me. She told me that around Christmas, we had had a conversation in which we'd discussed the topic of marriage and that she had asked me my opinions about it. In her recollection, I hadn't really given any opinions but instead had become soft-eyed and told her lots of loving things. Then, just before new year, we were shopping in Union Square and somehow it came up that it would be fun to go into -'s and look at rings. In her recollection, I suggested it (in mine, I re her suggesting it, but her memory tends to be better than mine at specifics). All of this made her think that marriage be something on my mind and something we might be moving towards. However, in the past couple of weeks, we were talking about moving to a new apartment. We looked at a place that she really liked but that for me really wasn't worth the price, and I think that raised in her head questions about whether I was not looking to commit to joint lease. Combined with the fact that the topic of marriage hadn't come up again since those events around Christmas made her start to question my intentions and whether we really were headed in that direction and she concluded that my lack of response to her questions about my opinion on marriage simply meant that I didn't want to get married. adult spanking therapy topekaMy husband and I agree that despite individual therapy, marital therapy, something's "gotta give" b/c the intimacy, and interest in working at this any longer has lost it's flame I'm wondering from all of you out there if, considering there are involved ages and six, that the separation process be slow and gradual, and the divorce proceedings be put off for a while. We are not an angry bitter couple, we're past that stage, we've learned to manage for the good of ourselves and the ..sorry to be vague, but it's the "been there done that" and there is nothing left to try. Time to raise the together living separately .Thanks in advance for any experiences shared . black personals
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