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When I want the quick release, I'll go to porn. But when I feel like working for it, I'll go to fantasy. The other day I was fantasizing about a female friend: Seeing her in the mosh pit at a show, throwing people around and being generally rough. She's loud and, just the way I like it. I took her into the bathroom, took off her pants and licked her thighs, then her pussy slowly. She told me to do it faster, harder. To the beat of the music. She pushed my face into her as far as it could go, holding my hair tightly. But not pulling it. She spoke in a low voice, telling me that if I didn't make her come she was going to beat my ass in the pit afterward. I slipped fingers into her, moving them in and out to the rhythm of the guitar until she came hard. No one heard her over the music. But I did. She ran her fingers through my hair and sighed deeply. I stood up and kissed her, letting her taste my accomplishment. I pulled away, licked my fingers and told her to meet me at the bar. Yeah. That one was a build up. But when it happened, it was crazy intense and I fell asleep immediately afterwards. Which almost never happens to me. tall dark and handsome looking for tonight will not dissapoint
This hit you the hardest because you bought into the whirlwind romance idea. You might have vocalized a more pragmatic stance with him but your emotions were pouncing on the promise that it could be true. Understandable. This hit you hardest than the other relationships because you're in your 30's now. You're ready for serious. You WANT serious. Understandable. All your emotions are understandable but illogical. You have posted that you pointed out the logic of the situation to him times. However, your emotions REALLY wanted to believe and now it's over. You're lucky. REALLY lucky. Imagine being married when he pulled the rug out from under you like that. Imagine having with him when he decided he was "out of now". That would be a whole lot worse. It hurts and I'm sorry but only two months with a guy like that makes you lucky. There. I said it again. Now, you need to tell yourself how lucky you are. Over and over again until you start believing it. You mentioned anger. Sure, I'd be super pissed. However, again, looking at the bigger picture you got out cheap. Vent, journal, cry, eat ice cream, some air guitar, etc. When you're ready make the decision to move on. It won't help to know why he did it. It's his nature and now he's gone. If he comes back? You don't deserve that and after healing you wouldn't WANT that. Let that idea go too. I'm sorry. I you heal from this. do you want to be massagedI think it's a bit presumptuous for someone who hasn't been there to tell someone who has been there what it's like. I know several people who have been through a lot of things I haven't been through and I wouldn't presume to speak for them. My kid's dad played a lot of guitar, started a few bands, became somewhat famous and toured the country. I on the other hand took care of a vomiting that his parents tried to force me to give up. When that didn't happen they just told him to ignore the and on about his life. I have a guitar, a piano and a law degree but none of those things are "typical" of what it's like to have a when you're a kid. It's not a funny subject. online dating
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