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I agree that money is a frustrating issue. I am a saver and my husband is a spender. I save about of my income. Husband goes out to breakfast and lunch every day, has expensive hobbies, etc. He drives a newer car, mine is 20 years old. One thing, is that if you make substantially more than him, even if you save a proportionate amount (which is not a bad idea), you are going to have more spending money. One thing that might help is if you BOTH agree on how much spending money you would get during the month, and get the same amount, not a proportion. You also have more debt, which should be a priority to pay down. Realistiy if you end up getting married, your incomes would be combined, so it would not matter who made more, you would get the same amount of spending money. Do you think that is something he would be willing to try? Money is a tricky subject. Men don't tend to like to give up control to women in the first place, especially with money. Maybe you could try asking HIM to make a specific financial plan of what you two need to do? Clearly you've figured it out. If he sits down with a pen and paper and calculates, "If we want to buy a house that costs $ K, we need to have ." That might get him more engaged? tsa sex at my apt- minutes after leaving me alone to wait for him, yet again, he returned to the parking spot to find a very unsmiling me on the corner. He stammered "I um…" and I snapped "shut up" while marking the rest of his demerits in my notebook with my red pen. I had planned to up and grade his essay while we were riding in the car, but instead I crumbled it up into a ball, and shoved the piece of crap into his mouth as a gag, telling him what it was and what I thought of it as I did so. He held the ball of paper in his mouth for a few minutes, but started to spit it out afterwards. I crumbled it up smaller and pushed it deeper into his mouth, offering him the choice of either holding it in his mouth for the rest of the ride, or swallowing it. He chose to hold it in his mouth, until we entered my apartment, even walking past two of my neighbors (who, thankfully for his sake, didn't notice us). When we entered the living room, I told him to sit down. He headed for the couch like the brat he is, so I corrected him by indicating he was to sit in the chair in front of the small desk. I told him to unlock the padlock on the chain which was sitting on top of the desk and to put the collar on himself while I got us some drinks. He was dressed in a crisp white button down shirt, tie, no jacket, jeans, and dress shoes. I placed my glass of iced tea on the punishment table behind the couch, put his glass of water on his desk, and told him to take off his shoes. I then instructed him to remove his pants, which were in violation of the dress code; and to put his shoes back on, which were acceptable attire. He started to protest, saying that I told him jeans were acceptable. I reminded him that while jeans were acceptable, that slacks were preferable and with the number of demerits he had racked up, he should be attempting to make amends by building up as plusses in his favor as he possibly could. I wrote the total number of his demerits on the chalk board which was hanging on the wall – he was starting with a whopping strikes. sex and relationships
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