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to be really honest with yourself. When I read what you write..I'm thinking, hmm. Here is a gal who thinks her boyfriend is a bit of a pussy. She knows he has problems and she wants to think of herself as the supportive kind but FUCK dude, get a damn job and DO something about it don't fucking complain to me if you're not willing to help your own damn self. Kind of like the internet where we can assess the shit of others and seem to have all the answers. Only here you are and its time to figure out exactly just how are you supposed to 'stick it out' and when are you supposed to just cash it in? Well? Hate to say it but you need to try to take your focus off of his shit and look at your's. I'm not talking about the fact that you come from a bad background or maybe leave the TV on Animal Planet during sex because you dig hampsters, I mean who doesn't? I'm talking about the hard shit what do I stand for in this relationship? Who am I being and who do I want to be? You do that and act upon those convictions you can be just as hard nosed, just as driven, even compassionate and determine if this is a person you want to invest more in or perhaps give the opportunity to develop with you. But what that means is you have to TELL HIM and mean it. There's no cake and eat it too here, there's risk involved, you don't get an easy way out so don't look for it. Pull up those bootstraps you say you have or was that only for school, work or crisis time? Little tougher when it's your values that come into question isn't it? Remembering that help on the compassion side of things, think of the fear you have when making this decision..and know he's dealing with that kind of shit. That is where he's weak but it's the same kind of fear that stops him from just knowing and acting. IF you want to invest more Get a time table for him to be pulling himself out of the hole he has dug. True effort made to get a job, no more bitching..some action or. Let him know..support you can do..enable just ain't part of the deal. You only owe him the..and that is IF you want to invest. If you are just trying not to look bad..um, just cut the cord. strap on sex now york pato move out for six months wasn't intended as a threat of divorce. More like what would happen if she was left to her own devices, and you too. You said yourself things must change. That was my idea on how to jumpstart it, granted it's a big step, but obvioulsy talking to her til you're blue in the face won't solve anything. Vague statements about "this can't continue" are meaningless without action. She has some issues. They affect your life in a negative way. Your marriage has some huge flaws but she doesn't want to fix those. Are you sure she's in this for the haul? I guess counseling tell, if you ever follow through. white label dating
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