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We met online and lived 8 hours away. So we saw each other on weekends. We talked for hours and hours on the phone and I thought I knew him. I kept journals throughout the years (7) and I am loathe to admit I saw the red flags but wanted so badly for him to be the one Years of therapy later, I can that my "learned helplessness", codependency and tendency to be a loving doormat were very attractive to an emotionally immature, controlling, outwardly arrogant but inwardly insecure with an inadequacy problems. Oh, and blond hair and big boobs probably didn't hurt. Now that I'm growing due to counseling, back in school and becoming more educated (psych, doesn't it figure?), the balance of power is shifting. We are a good match for some sort of odd friendship, but probably not marriage. As easy as it is to when someone needs to leave a marriage, I am finding it very difficult myself to take that plunge. I was single and lonely before but there is a difference. I am sparkly, not being conceited, it's just reality, but I attracted narcissistic princes back then. Hopefully, I won't anymore I think I'd rather be divorced, lonely, healing and available than married, intermittently miserable, lonely and unavailable for something better. women in Cole for sexWhat woman (or -) can revel in the of home and family, when they're worried about becoming a single parent? When the breadwinner spouse is showing signs of instability in the marriage or a selfish drive of his own, what's the SAH spouse to do? Continue breadbaking and vaccuuming as though nothing's amiss? ago, women just didn't have other options. Convinced by society and their families that a woman's place was in the home, they could NOT support their families well by herself. She HAD to do whatever necessary to entice the breadwinner to stay not because she loved the home life, but because she knew she couldn't support the family better on her own. Is *this* the kind of loyalty and devotion to family you'd seek, custodydad? Really out of fear and weakness, and not? Human nature seeks first to meet physical needs food, water, shelter. Once that's met, next most important is safety the security of finances and the home. Then and acceptance., a person won't be receptive to when they're starving. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs read up on it. This is what drives wives and mothers to seek their own security in meeting their own needs they *cannot* depend on their spouse to provide for and them for rest of their lives. To put such blind trust in anyone is a form of suicide. You want things to go back to how they used to be because it was easier for men and they had more control. But you're turning a blind eye to how this arrangement has affected women throughout the ages. It's a social revolution in progress, which I think (-) one day find the right balance between home, work, family, and stability for everyone. But that's not going to happen until men let go of the need to control and repress to their own benefit. But it has to be equal power shared, custodydad. As a society, we need to reach that stage of self-actualization. That's not going to happen as as half of us are still striving for security. completely free dating
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