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Trying to get it all at the same time is the problem. When you realize in your gut that you are trying to grab too much at once and are never going to be able to retain it all, you possibly have made the first step in resolving your dilemma, by deciding what's most important. I think if you actually managed to domesticate your outside lover to the point where you could trust him utterly, you'd get bored, just as you probably are with your presumably loyal husband. Being jealous of him is your self-defeating way of seeking extra reassurance and creating a little extra drama to make it more exciting. But maybe it's not as self-defeating as it seems. Maybe you're unconsciously shooting the affair in the foot because you know you belong at home. Maybe your jealous roiling gut is telling you that you need to quit this before you neglect your spouse and any further, and cause any more pain. Think about it. Frigiliana sex personalTrust me, I know everything he does now. He does not look at porn at all, he does not go in , or any other site like that anymore. Not because I said, but because he wants me to trust him, and he wants me to check on him. We have our own business so I know where he is except when he has an apt. and I know the times, and how it takes to get there and back. He knows I am not playing, and he does not want to do anything to destroy our 16 years. BUT I am still worried..Worried of whats on his mind. He assures me it was just a fantacy and it's not worth losing "us" over.. I do have advice..I URGE you to KNOW what he's doing!! I hate to say "check up on him" BUT YOU HAVE TO!!! Check his incoming and outgoing. Just until you can TRUST that he's not dipping into something on the side. You saw whats on here..married men looking for married men for "discreet" relations It could easliy be YOUR..Think of those woman..they have NO CLUE!! don't be one of he is masterbating to porn, he's checking out on YOU..Come on..Men have to stop thinking of what's "EASY" and think of the realationship/marriage.. If he's looking at it, he's masterbating and he's not having relations with you. That is UNFAIR TO YOU!!! You have been so understanding, and I don't want you to be so understanding, that your also gulable..No disrespect intended. But it's easy to be gulable, when you someone and WANT so badly to beleive them. You need to talk to him. Tell him either he's WITH you..or with someone. No more porn (all that does is make them want to do it more) Like my husband, he said he could never kiss another guy, it was just a BJ..but he only wanted to, because he saw a porn, and that made it a fantacy..but he even admitted that "looking" at it, made the urge worse..He NEEDS to stop..I am sorry! But it's true..If he wants this relationship with you, he needs to think of YOU..YOU need to make sure he understands.. don't be one of those that get hurt, because you don't put your foot down. It's not about being, straight, or bi. It's about the relationship he is IN now..and that is what should be important to him. Your very understand and willing to make him happy..Is he??? horny older
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