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-'s thread and her concern (that I know has been shared by of us over the years) about sanity in the face of some let's admit it bat shit crazy activities that we choose to do, has me thinking about guilt, and self identification, and SSC versus RACK. For the purpose of this discussion, let's clarify that SSC means safe/sane/consensual and RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. One of the most important things that I have heard in my 4 years in the community is that nothing we do is particularly sane, but if we are aware of the risks and do what we can to mitigate them, we are doing enough. Hearing that from someone who was qualified enough to teach a class instantly made me remember all the times I'd worried about being crazy or how fucked up was my psyche that I craved/needed to be beaten and degraded. And I felt all that lifted. Ok, I'm not necessarily sane. But I am careful and all my partners consent. Why I want these things doesn't really matter because there is a wide world of people who don't have one shred of commonality with me, except that we like to be beaten and degraded. So it isn't my past and it isn't any one thing, so why worry about it. I am capable of having intimate, loving, otherwise "normal" relationships and I have found a way to have the most amazing orgasms of my life. What's wrong with that? I guess my point of discussion is whether or not identifying as SSC or RACK increases the burden of "am I crazy" we allow ourselves to. want a gf without the bsconsider this a learning experience, and leave the poor girl alone. What you want has absolutely ZERO meaning to her. And pressing her now just ensure that you have no whatsoever of talking to her later. Fix your attitude about women, ALL women and then take a year or so to build a good reputation among the women around you. Once she starts hearing good reports about you, she might start considering giving you a second. But don't count on it. That good reputation stand you in good stead with the females you meet in the future though. And that is what you should be focusing on. Make yourself a better. xxx dating
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