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ca65 looking to suck some dick love white meatI have issues. Lot’s of ‘em. First and foremost in my mind today is my ongoing crush on one of my friends. I’m a middle-aged woman, and I met my friend and crush around 8 years ago. When I first met her, I noticed her every time I saw her. I never imagined anything other than “wow, there’s that woman I want to spend time with her”. She’s lesbian and proud. Several years ago, that feeling developed into a full-fledged massive crush for me. I have no idea if she ever noticed or felt the same. Despite my relationship and her relationship, the crush has not gone away. I’m not a relationship-breaker, at least for the other person. Since then, I notice women and look at them “in that way”, but beyond women who strongly resemble my friend, I am not attracted to them. I’ve been in a relationship with a great guy for nearly 15 years. For the past 5 years; the relationship has been intimacy-free. The intimacy was never “hot and heavy”, and I’ve never really been in any term relationships that were. All of my prior relationships have been with men. I had one affair that lasted 3 days with a 6 years ago. I regret it and would never do it again. I have never previously fantasized, kissed, crushed on, or “messed around” with women. In my youth, I had schoolgirl crushes on men only. Most of my crushing and dreams involve only kisses and hugs and a feeling of safety. I come from a screwed up family and have lots of issues about sex, sexuality and self-image. I am not attracted to my partner sexually. He stopped intimacy with me completely around years ago, and prior to that the intimacy was sparse (once or twice a year). I was content with feeling loved for years, although the sex when we had it was not earthshaking. I think I have a lot of anger and pain around the rejection. I’ve had earthshaking sexual encounters in my youth (or at least I remember them that way) with partners that I saw briefly, mostly for just a few months. Those partners with whom the “ground rules” were clearly laid out that we were a “fun” couple who were enjoying each other for a limited time. classified ads
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