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I dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. funny girls DerryWhen two Libras come together in a affair, they form one of the most agreeable, romantic and well-balanced relationships around. and aesthetics are of utmost importance to Libra; two Libras together bring their magiy balanced and beautiful touch to everything they do together. Libra is the Sign of Partnership; Libra loves to be in, and two together spells relationship bliss. If they're just dating, they spend their time at romantic and coffee houses; if they're cohabiting, their house looks like an gallery, full of the finest and loveliest of everything. Libra wants everyone to them sometimes to a fault. They abhor conflict, and if one arises they're apt to back down just to maintain the peace. It's not that they're insincere or that they don't care, it's that conflict makes them extremely uncomfortable. The Libra-Libra duo understands this about one another and it's rare that either one push the other to compromise their shared sensibilities. Libra is most balanced while in a relationship, and each of them having someone to admire and dote upon. They're happiest when they have someone with similar interests with whom to share their experiences. Libra is ruled by the Planet (-). Two Libras together share a blissful, romantic relationship full of beauty, sensuality and utter pleasure. It's no wonder the two stay together! They spoil themselves and one another sometimes to a fault. Too foods and too much laziness can be bad for their health. Those are pleasures that prove hard to resist; both enjoy reclining and munching on a stem of grapes like the Greek goddess herself! Libra is an Air Sign. They prize their mental abilities almost above all -; they enjoy intellectualism and appreciate, films and all sorts of cultural pursuits. Persuasive, courteous and diplomatic, Libras are the fair judges of the world. Two together can use their diplomacy to smooth over almost any potential conflict with honor and decency. Libra is a Cardinal Sign, a quality that allows them to initiate new projects and motivate others. Two Libras can work very well together toward any project they set their mind to. What's the best aspect of the Libra-Libra relationship? Their incredible sense of diplomacy, kindness and shared respect for one another. woman wants friend
mature swingers gatwick China - Hong Kong Put aside any consideration of what he wants, needs, or feels obligated to do. If it feels right to him, then do it. If it feels better to have no contact, then choose to have no contact., bad decisions stem from a misplaced sense of obligation. I had a guy break up with me then quickly move in with someone. A few months later, the ex asked me to accompany him to have a pet put to sleep. He said he could really use the emotional support at a tough time. This guy dumped me, started sleeping with another almost immediately, but wanted me to support him at an emotional time. I am proud that I was enough to realize that accompanying him to the vet would have been a bad choice for me at that time. I did not go. Some people thought I was mean. So be it.
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