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Plus I have a neg. But to clarify Cattail and I have exchanged hundreds of posts on her situation over the course of several years. I have my own saga of injury and recovery and am extremely aware of the effect of. I think cattail knows I very much wish her the best and was addressing an aspect of her story others can't know from a single post. I want to be careful not to tell someone -'s story and I'm of course aware I can be wrong. But I think it's safe to say his is a family with a fragile daughter that's been locked into a dysfunctional dynamic forever. Cattail knows I'm strongly of the opinion that her mother is as guilty, if not more so, of driving that dynamic. Whatever the father's, his offer to visit alone was in my view an effort to break the pattern. Cattail not be ready and that's OKAY. But IMO it would be be beneficial and an important step away from polarized dad-bad/mom-good thinking to RECOGNIZE he's at least trying. And yes, I Cat doing that I was just encouraging it (in my own way). Yelling at a kid is, but subtle manipulation with a smiley face CAN be every bit as soul-sucking and extremely damaging to individuation, yet harder to recognize. And obviously dad is clumsy: the idea of sleeping on her couch for a whole week is ridiculous. That would be too much togetherness even in vastly better circumstances. Nevertheless, it saddened me to mom back in the picture because IMO it'd be a huge step forward for Cat and dad to handle this either way, even with open conflict without mom intruding and manipulating via guilt and the appearance of good-guy gentlesness (masking one hell of a self-serving agenda). I'm not writing this properly don't have time. So let me just say, I wasn't defending dad or minimizing. And cattail, I not have made it clear in other posts, but I totally support a decision to reject his visit. I bring up the fact he's trying to challenge the polarized view of your parents. I saw some of that perhaps erroneously in your comment about his bragging being a sign narcissism. Does your mother not brag about you, as well? Sorry, this is so garbled. It's a half-assed attempt to explain my comment despite not having time to write. looking for gym buddy Benjamin Texasmy mother is in denial about our family. you have to be open to maybe hear something you wont like. I have issues with my mother. 2 years ago I told her some things that my father did while she was at work. she said she never knew. she said we should have said something 50 years ago. we were little. father was a mean of a bitch. we were. 2 days later she told me oh yeah, I talked to your sister and she confirmed what I told her. I was hurt. why should I believe she would have believed me when I was 10 when she didn't believe me at 60. not until my sister confirmed. I was so hurt. and she never apologized. all she said was I didn't know. she did one time step in. she told my father he was going to break my brothers glasses. she got the glasses and let him continue to beat my brother. when they were first married my father hit her. she left him. didn't return until he promised never to hit her again. yet when we were big enough he started beating us with hands and belt. she never once stepped in. it wasn't ok for him to hit her but it was ok for him to beat us. we were her babies. she was supposed to protect us. I told her this in that same conversation 2 years ago. she never once said she was sorry. she still doesn't get it. maybe there is some issue with your. funny how parents forget the bad stuff. no one wants to think its their fault. you don't sound like you really want to know the truth. I say this not to hurt you but maybe open your eyes. amature swingers
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