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It's so hard being in an abusive relationship and finally getting "free". I totally understand your situation and it might take a very time before you stop thinking of him and dwelling on whether you did the right thing or not. The cycle of changes slowly. Because of this, there are good times but the bad times get worse. We were together for the same amount of time. I've now been free for nine years. I never regret my choice but I do what we shared greatly. term abusers hit where it doesn't show. Psychological/emotional doesn't show to cops or friends either. It's simply insidious and because it starts slowly, the victim questions themself for far too (did this really happen? was I imagining it?). Again, the word is insidious. If you hit him and then he reported it, you could easily lose the. Who reports gets the attention. I can how this could happen to you easily. It's not as though you chose to leave your with someone that harmed you, it's a battle of the 9-1-1 s. I get, others don't. It's not an easy situation and it hurts. Just to clarify, today ( ) isn't a holiday. It's an occasion for people who don't show on a daily basis to buy a card, buy chocolate or balloons, go out to dinner and reflect for others the they should be showing daily (with notes, sweet, texts, a phone for no reason). Please don't buy into today being a "holiday". As far as the true holidays go (New Year's, Labor Day, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc), there is an actual meaning behind those days. More meaning than a one day nicety by someone who vowed to and you. Best of luck to you. I'd get involved with a domestic violence counselor and quickly. You'll meet other women who understand your situation and you'll learn that you never earned his wrath. - attractive opportunity for an attractive girlI've become intrigued though now by this idea of judgment, since (I can't help it) the judgment has been made that I am judgmental. And I'm sorry if I'm thinking out loud a bit, Bean, since you not be responding, but if anyone wishes to I would be very happy to hear her thoughts. So, since, for the sake of argument, I have a greater than average amount of judgmentalness, I am wondering what exactly the difference is between being judgmental and simply judgment. I mean, my understanding of judgment is that it is the process by which a person takes facts, impressions, prior knowledge, new knowledge, observation, etc and puts them all together when confronted with a new situation to "judge" or understand it, make connections, make decisions, etc. So, where is that fine line between doing that and becoming judgment al ? When one becomes disapproving because of the conclusion they have made? Or is there something more or less? And, more to the point, is it possible to do the former (make judgments) without doing the latter (being judgmental)? Is it possible to live a life in which we disapprove of nothing? Is that desirable? What if I (or you, or anyone) were not disapproving of torture? This seems like an awful idea, so I have to wonder if having standards and expectations of behavior (now identified as a required part of the social contract) means that being judgmental is also some part of the social contract? Or is there a way to tease those two things apart so they are not mutually dependent? Is being judgmental in moderation acceptable, and only becomes unacceptable (and therefore worthy of the judgment of others) when it crosses some certain threshold? What is the threshold? dating for adults
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