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I am now 50. When I was 38 my wife and I divorced after having 4. The oldest is now 29 and youngest at 15. Getting past the first sentence was the hardest thing I have ever done. After that, I cannot explain the feeling of so much weight lifted. For the first time I could get out of bed and not have to be an "actor". The First 3 years were very tough but probably no more than any other divorce., family, friends and neighbors all had to go through the experience. Thinking back though, I would NEVER have changed a thing. My best friend is my ex-wife. We have 4 wonderful and even a grandchild. We are a very close family. I am close to neighbors and friends. We all live in a small very rural community and we are known as a good family (we say we are a functioning disfunctional family just more open about it than others). I wish it worked out this well for everyone but I know it does not. As the new saying goes "it does get better". I wish you well during this possible new chapter of life. People and governments are finally realizing that everyone is different and thats ok. You really are not alone nor the only one. You have the right to a happy life. Take the. It work out great or not. But I promise in the end you FINALLY be able to breath freely just like anyone. You finally feel peace. Your daughters also come around. You are their father and in time they realize nothing has really changed other than they now you as happy. rules straight swf to go to singles eventsWhen I first came out I was told I had to do anal. It was part of being. I tried being a top but that didn't work. A guy on all fours or on his back with his legs spread did nothing for me. He looked like a girl and I'd already had sex with women when I thought I was straigt. When I decided to be a bottom I'd read to slowly work on my ass with small toys and then larger ones. Foolishly I did that all the while thinking how stupid it was. An ass is tight for a reason. Bottoming was a nightmare. I tried it quite a few times with experienced topss, cleaned myself out, he lubed, I lubed. It was not hot at all, and I felt like an idiot getting in female sex positions. I felt like a girl. All I could think of was when I came out how people would say I was because I wanted to be a girl. Not true. I felt his cock on my prostate but it wasn't pleasurable at all. I developed chronic diarrhea and then some internal bleeding. I was losing weight. I was so embarrassed and humuliated to go to the doctor. I didn't go until a friend recommended a friendly doctor. I had internal tears and infections that required multiple courses of antibiotics. I slowly healed without needing surgery. As humiliated as I was I explained everything to the doctor. He's an older and understood completely and explained in simple terms that my ass and no ass is made for penetration. I kind of already figured that out. He said anal was something that wasn't very popular when he was but as the 70's progressed more men did it because they thought they had to and they were rebelling as well. He lost friends to AIDS. He warned me about HIV which I knew. I didn't know about the anal cancer/anal sex connection. That was an eye openener. Anyway, I'm anal sex free and glad to be. I had a scare and I'm not going back to that dark place again. Unfortunately I now have two friends who are HIV poz. They're doing okay but I wish I could turn back the clock. sexy mature
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