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The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternative definitions for various existing words. This year's list is no disappointment. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest: 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), an flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish _expressions. 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 15. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. looking for a outgoing girl for a ltras you. Infact maybe a little worse off coz I'm older. Husband doesn't want sex,everytime I need it his stomach is upset or head is hurting so he can't take viagara ( he has ED). And I'm a very attractive woman so I know its not me. Also while his head is hurting or his stomach is upset he is fine to want to cuddle, talk, eat and drink , go out , just no sex. He has a lousy job that pays almost nothing so majority of bills are my responsibility. All he wants to do is talk big, drink eat and sleep. I think I am still in it because I'm 40 and if I divorce him I might be single for the rest of my life. I hate it , I wish I could gather the guts to just walk out and get on with my life instead of being miserable all the time. divorced women dating
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