Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array skater punk boys for punk girlSeeking NSA now! Looking for NSA fun. No no bs just fun. We both get ours and go about our business. I can host so hmu! Oh and please have a. horny Five Points Alabama girls china girl
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he tells you why you are really divorcing. You surely can't be divorcing over dirty towels and house keeping skills. And if you are that's horribly shallow and a lot to throw away over so little. There has got to be something driving his motivations. Other women? Midlife crisis? Closeted personality? You don't really want to be married to some one who doesn't want to be married to you do you? sex for 15203 girlu 's question, he was Caucasian. No, he wasn't behind anything. He truly was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn't know what he was driving into. I'm surprised the didn't kill him, thank goodness they didn't. It was really graphic. I'm sure it's on e somewhere but I don't want to it again. free live webcams
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