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My images of these boy/girl things kinda break down into categories. The ones who take your breath away are to be enjoyed like a lost weekend or vacation from reality, but don't expect to keep them. You won't be able to get past the relationship, but they can and need to. To "have and hold" you have to share a common project or goal as the glue between the two of you. Glue? Yeah, you need some glue cause there be irritations, bad luck, losses, short falls, and the like along the way. With glue to a shared project those things are tolerated or fixed in honor of seeing the project through. Without the glue, those things rub raw, fester, and run roughshod across your relationship. Projects? Yeah, the most common is the family, which come with, a dog, a cat, two cars, washer/drier, PTA meetings, birthdays, etc = lots of external demands, and for a time. However, there are other things too: money, music, farming, adventures, travel, performing arts, academic, science, racing, etc = the time frame varies kik back and chatsexual tension when it would cause so much drama? You would really consider it acceptable to be impregnated by a other than your husband without their fully informed consent? That's not kinky, but. You have let yourself become a cliche and you wonder why you can't find a real human to engage with you? A healthier outlet for your sexual tension that would also help with your marriage would be to share your fantasies with your husband. adult relationship
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