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I need to clear a few things up. My husband had addiction problems several years back. I didn't know he was addicted to Loratabs. On his own, still without me knowing anything, he began treatment. The doctor prescribed him some opiiate replacements and anti-depressants. I could tell something was up because his personality changed. He went from and fun, friendly, loving guy with lots of energy to an emotional vegetable. We stop conversing, stop hanging out together, stopped having sex. He was extremely disconnected. I had just began back at college and thought that my schooling was the drain on our relationship. I thought he was no longer interested in me. I thought he was checking out of the relationship. I was discussing this with his step-mom and she mentioned that it could be a possibility since he really wasn't an education kind of guy because he dropped out in the 10th grade. She thought I knew this. I didn't. I was told by him that he graduated. When I confronted him he admitted lying and then admitted the usage. Things were still really bad. I would find out a new lie every week or so. He wouldn't let me be part of his treatment. We lived horribly for about nine months and then I decided I wanted a separation because things had really gotten bad. After being separated a while we decided to try to make it work and have been doing really well for the last year. That's the background of what he did. Here is what I did. I had a hard time forgiving him especially since the lies kept popping up and he was still horribly distant. I knew that I needed time and space to figure things out but didn't know how to tell him. I also really screwed up about a month before I asked for a separation. I cheated on him with a friend of ours who had knowledge about everything that was going on and was a supportive ear. I know that nothing my husband did or didn't do is any excuse for my actions. It's all back story and helps to explain my frame of mind at the time. I thought the end was inevitable. After we separated, I cooled off and could think clearly. I also saw and got to know the that I had married again. We decided to make it work. I decided to not tell him about the affair because I figured it would hurt everyone too much. I also made that decision upon the advice of our marriage counselor. looking to get some head before Fox RiverWell, things went well and I suppose it is from all the good you were sending my way. Things went very well. Thank you!!!! The guy that owns the Academy went with me and I took a mother and daughter out. The owner just sort of sat back and let me take the lead and prompted info when he felt I should add something. Neither had been on a sailboat so it was from the proper way to board the boat, to bending the sails, what makes the boat go, etc . by the end of 3 hours I had both of them so they could read the wind (with a little help), tack, hold a course, and work their way up wind to a stationary bouy and round it. Then we jibed and ran a bit but the wind was starting to build and I really felt like they were not quite ready for the next step. We did sail the boat all the way back thru a busy fairway and docked under sail, I had them operating the boat the whole time with just a little direction (I think this was the part that actually gained points with my new boss). Then I had them help me put the boat away and explained why things were done in a particular fashion. After we got back and they had left, he talked to me about how I can fit into his program on a range and what his plans are, my plans compliment his as he is setting up a school in the Bahamas he run in the winters. Tho this is just a weekend gig and won't really materialize this, I feel really good about things. I think we clicked on LOTS of levels. love and relationship
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