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moved out AND wanted his money back because I killed a spider the jumped at my face? I almost always catch spiders in the house in a jar and turn them loose outside, but this one was big and in my room, and when I tried to catch it it turned, looked at me, and LEAPED onto my eye I swatted it and it died. I MIGHT have screamed a little ;), which brought the roommate running, furious when he found out I'd killed a spider, went into a rage and moved out. I remember him saying "YEAH, it leaped at your face, it's a friggin' LEAPING SPIDER, asshole, that's what they DO!" you are amazing horny male
Around that time I was very confused on what I should do next I happened to the evil wench. I happened to be on a different side of town and needed to run to the store for some fruit rollups (ironic I know) for my neice's lunch the next day. I strolled into the grocery store like nothing. I was just about to make a comment inside my head how ghetto the store was when I saw her. I had heard rumors that she had moved on and was seeing someone. But this time she was solo. I pretended I did not her but it was too late. She spotted me. DAMN! I knew I should have gone to another checkout. I said hello and he had a forced short conversation. I could not help but notice THE FUCKING FRUIT SHE WAS BUYING! You fucking cunt, like I am not supposed to know what those bananas, apples, oranges were for? I was pissed. I decided no more sex with fruit. That was the final straw. Fuck that bitch and her kinky sexual outlets. That lasted all but a few days but then I began to get horney. NO! I couldn't do it. I toss all the fruit out my window. I WAS DONE! I had never paid for sex and wasn;t exactly sure how to go about doing that without getting caught so that was out of the question. I need stimulation! I needed something! Then as a spontanious desperate act I slammed my penis into the peanut butter. The soft sticky goo made me melt inside. What was this utopia of sexual pleasure that I had discovered? I did not know what was more pleasing. The sex with the peanut butter jar or having the dog lick it off afterwards. So to my ex . fuck you. I am over you and over sex with fruit. I have moved on myself. To a new avenue of pleasure. And it doesn't involve anything you ever taught me. lf friend confidant and loverThe timing is perfect on this one for me, Lent being almost over! Who knew!!!! 1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive. 2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew 3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs. 4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting. 5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry. 6 Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores. 7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of hair. 8. Fill a ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them. 9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes. 10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the for days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains. 11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment. 12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka. 13 Vodka disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting. 14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison to remove the urushiol oil from your skin. 15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain. And silly me. I've only been drinking the stuff!!! woman dominate
x horny texan North Pole girls My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was. She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was. She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles. "Now," said my wife, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything. The small stuff. Your porn, baseball, the bar, your X-Box. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you never have room for the things that are truly most important." I was dumbfounded. Where the hell is she going to get more mayonnaise from for my sandwich, dammit? white woman of any size slim to bbw
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