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Me and my girl have been dating for over a year now and like most couples we have had our issues but more good than bad. The one issue that I can't seem to get past is a ex lover that she still keeps in contact with. She met him over 10 years ago while she and the father of her were taking a break. She wound up marrying the father of her and said her and the ex lover stopped sleeping together, then when she moved out and filed for divorce she would get with the ex lover when he came to town. Do I believe nothing happened between the 2 while she was married? Hell no but anyway When she first spoke of the ex lover she spoke about him with such compassion, she mentioned that she considered him a "good friend" and that he gives good advice. The last time they were together was about 7 months before me and her got into a commited relationship..The biggest problem I have with all of this is that during the entire time they were sleeping together, he was and still is married. I have ex lovers that I talk to a few times a month but none are married and our relationship doesn't have to be hidden. My girlfriend says the ex lover respects our relationship and doesn't flirt or try to get with her but as a there is no way I believe that either. My girl says even if he did she doesn't want him and I have nothing to worry about. We've had a few blow ups about this ex but I've never asked her to cut him off completely and even if she said she did they could still communicate without me knowing.. I have thought about one day marrying this woman but I feel I can't take that next step with this in her life, something in my gut tells me that relationship should not be. Am I overreacting? Should I try and learn to live with this? Should I tell my girlfriend that either he goes or I do? I've very confused about how to handle this.. Harrison of peace HarrisonI'd suggest the Lesbian National Helpline. http: // The first person I ever spoke to about my issues was on the other end of a helpline. It was so good to be able to vocalise what was going on inside me. courtship dating
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