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I attended the one in my community, for the first time this year. In the past I have been aware of the issue and the campaign, but the whole theme seemed excessively dark and depressing: the ongoing beatings, physical intimidation and murder of hundreds of trans people a year. In my country and city, transphobic and homophobic violence is fortunately very low (but not absent, for sure). It's hard to acknowledge that one can be at risk merely for being a member of a recognizable minority: we all want to believe things are better than they maybe are. But this year I went, and am glad I did. It wasn't as dark and moody as I expected, though the selection of stories of the victims of trans violence around the world were certainly horrifying and saddening, on the whole the gathering was heartening and uplifting. It's not often so transpeople and supporters gather in one place. There were accommodations to those who wished to be 'stealth', in terms of arriving and departing incognito and there were no cameras during the event. The media were absent, though they had been invited. Apparently this is as usual, it's just not a big deal as the Pride parade with all the flashy rainbow clowns, queens and leather. It's not within the scope of the event, focusing as it does on external violence towards trans people (and their perceived or straight companions) but it seems to me almost even more horrible a, that the general level of oppression drives so trans people to suicide. It's violence to and by the victim him/herself. I've lost two dear friends to suicide, one not-so-close acquaintance, versus one seemingly deliberate hit-and-run death by automobile, and that was more probably because they thought she was not trans. Get mad about it, don't tolerate the shaming and violence, and appreciate the time you have with your trans and friends. It takes a certain amount of courage to be who who we are, put ourselves out there and make a life. It's good to remember how fortunate we are. separted man looking for fling todayIt seems that you are content to stay where you are in the situation you're in, so I give you the best advice I can. There are safe ways to get the emotional you crave that can be done in a controlled setting- Would he be willing to let you play with other people without him there? Now this is an off the wall remark- but Have you considered maybe he got an STD and doesnt want to pass it to you since he was cheating? Maybe he has erectile dysfunction? Maybe HE has a problem and is using you aas a conveinent way to not be at fault- you seem very eager to take blame without thinking you have a right to defend yourself The ways I have found that gets most guys attention in a situation like this is to- Be an individual that has her own goals Give him A LOT of breathing room. You have already seen that no matter how hard you try to please him it's not changing your situation. don't suffocate him and caudal him he need a to appreciate how "into" him you are Is there any changes you could make to yourself to feel better about yourself? Like Lift some weights and be strong- take a belly dancing class- get a new haircut and color you would normally never get? Go take a community college class in something you? i'm telling you- if you are always in his face and yourself to get him to do something it is human nature to do the exact opposite bc most people don't like being controlled (with out prior arrangement anyway lol) He's apparantly tired of you talking to him about things- (even though I think he shouldn't be if he's really about you) so leave him alone. Maybe he come to you in a few weeks and start a conversation? sex with married woman
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