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It's a sign that I'm starting to suffer from depression. There are other signs for me too. One of which is coming home from work and staying home instead of getting out and being social. When I something that seems like I might be "closing in on myself", I do make a big effort to change. Ultimately, I do need time to myself, I also need a great life. I have to figure out how to balance those needs, so I set key indicators for myself. How I treat my SO is a massive key indicator to me, because they are the primary person in my life, and as such, that is the first relationship that be affected if I start to get selfish, need too much space, start ignoring friends, etc. etc. grannies for sex in fifeI learned that in a hospital, they ALWAYS tell you "You're doing so well!" in the mistaken notion that BELIEVING you are doing well make it so. I'm really annoyed by "magical thinking", by the way, except of course when I'm actually practicing the Craft and TRYING to be magical. Anyway, my brother is an MD, and HE got the real story they thought I was toast for the first days. I say this I didn't a light exactly, but I did come to the edge. I was thinking about either going on through, or going BACK but I knew that going back would involve a lot of suffering. Then I thought "Oh shit. If I die right now, my ex-wife won't know who to and what information to give to collect the life insurance!" So I essentially told the Universe "Um, actually, I have to go fill out some paperwork. I'll be back later. Possibly MUCH later " Despite being a HUGE headonist, I really think I am a good person, and when it all came down to it, my ex-wife and my were what mattered to me. I didn't think I'd ever be able to walk again. I certainly didn't think I'd be able to walk half as good as I do now. I am starting to think that maybe, if I keep hitting the gym and do my yoga , my strength and balance be good enough some day that I'll be able to dance or even run again. naughty woman
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