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is to use distraction. Right now, your thoughts are focused on him too much of the time. So you have to give yourself other things to think about. You have to get out of your comfort zone get damn busy with every spare minute in your day, and stay so damn busy that when you hit the sack at night, you fall asleep from exhaustion. (Better than laying there, thinking of him last thing, and crying yourself to sleep, eh?) Remodel the house, join a gym and workout every day, get a second job, go back to school, join a cause which needs volunteers, anything which get you out of the house and keep your mind, hands and body BUSY. Channel that energy you're using feeling sorry for yourself in a different direction. Especially consider doing volunteer work that helps others in need maybe Meals on Wheels, cooking at a homeless shelter, Red Cross relief projects, working at an animal shelter, etc. You'll generate some oxytocin (the feel-good hormone) naturally, and that boost your spirits. Pay attention to your body. Eat foods and stay away from fatty sweets the sugar highs and lows make you depressed. Same goes for caffeine. Get plenty of sleep. Next, write yourself a journal. Write down ALL the reasons this relationship with him is a BAD thing, and be very specific about your feelings. Go back and read it every time you're feeling weak and vulnerable. It strengthen your resolve. And try to be sociable with others, even if you don't feel like it. Those times you're wallowing in self-pity and don't want to be around others are *exactly* the times you NEED to be with others. Spend lots of time with friends and family, and cultivate friendships, hobbies. And do pamper yourself. Do your favorite things often; they do have a way of lifting depression. Lastly Get a bit more educated about typical teen behavior, especially girls, living with divorced parents one of whom alcohol. The behavior you described doesn't sound abnormal at all. She sounds like a typical 14yo who's dealing with a whole lot of conflicting emotions and anger at the world. normal, really. In any case, it's not your place to rescue this girl at the expense of your own sanity or pocketbook. You did the right thing. Good luck. single naughty Denver Colorado womenactually. I know that lately there's been a bit more tension, and thus a few more "dust ups" than normal, but it's all a part of interacting in a community. The way I it a person has two options when one occurs: getting involved in the negativity that such discussions usually devolve into; or abstaining from responding. If you should choose option one, and go in with the mindset of peacemaking, you really are setting yourself up for failure, because I've noticed that when people get heated about things, the "innocent" bystanders sometimes get flamed too. (And I'm not just talking about here, it happens in life all the time). People do interact in a negative fashion (. fight) from time to time. It's human nature. For me, it's not worth it to get involved most of the time. I don't need the additional negativity in my direction, I get quite enough of that in my life already. It's not my responsibility to be a mediator. If you choose option two, you can sit back and watch, and think "this is the third time in a couple of months that so-and-so has had a hair trigger for what seems like no good reason, wonder if something's up", and you can 'em. Or, you can that this is the fourth time that so-and-so has done this exact same thing, and you can form a better picture of what this person's really like. I guess a big part of it, is seeing time and again, what should be a discussion turn into an argument because a poster decides this would be a *great* time to start with personal attacks. I know how hard it is to not just turn around and go "oh yeah? well you're a nambypantsed ass too" or whatever. Some people try to keep it civil, while the poster continues to do the same thing over and over again. Eventually, a person just gives up and civility and respect fly straight out the window. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the fo' is not responsible for the baggage each person comes with. It's that person's responsibility to deal with it in an appropriate manner. We can only be so sensitive and understanding about things, before everything becomes a no-go topic and we're left discussing unicorns every. single. day. married cheaters
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