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Lying to myself I keep telling myself that it will get easier and that every day I am getting a bit stronger. For the record I am getting really good at lying to myself. Waking up around 6, as I do nearly every morning these days; my head full of you and the foolish notion that I might hear a certain sound in the distance, I knew I should probably start my day. After all, once memories of us start flooding my brain, sleep is a distant memory. Since I knew that you would not be walking through my door and needing some music , I turned on my phone only to hear a song about needing you now (a song I have avoided at all costs for months). It was then that I buried my head in my pillow..funny after all these months it still smells like you. Hell, I even put Diet Coke in my drink this morning, as if it was the most normal action in the world. That in itself should speak volumes about where my mind is at. To be honest, I knew then that I was going to have to give into the memories and let the day take me where it will. Perfect mornings, first kisses and lunches among the just to name a few. Missing the catch in your breath when you move in for a kiss, the way your hands fist in my hair when I am next to you and the way your eyes always see right into my soul to name a few more. Every moment, stressful, tense and even having convos that neither you or I ever want to repeat are waging inside my head today and I can't shut them off..I suppose I should stop trying to hide from them. Yesterday, I watched you drive by continually. I saw you glancing my way and looking like a hot mess in shades, your strong arms glistening in the sun. You should know I wanted you to stop. I wanted to run to the door and into your arms. I hate this. I hate all of it. You think I walked away, I think you walked away..when in reality neither of us went anywhere. I love you and I miss you. You have no idea how much I want to hear your voice telling me that we are going to figure all of this out. Ran
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For those of you that have filed for divorce, did you feel guilty? If you did, how did you get over it. My situation: My husband and I don't ever get along, we don't have sex, but he is a decent guy, and for some reason he seems completely happy in the relationship. I don't get it. I would like to be in a relationship that I don't argue every single day. A relationship with sex in it, preferably good sex. Yes, we have gone to counseling, and he is still blind to the issues. Another complication for me, is the debt. We have a lot of debt, and there is probably no equity in our house because we bought at the end of 'the bubble' Sorry, this turned bloggy. I'm just feeling stuck. Anyone feel like this? bbw mature dating in Winside village
I have been heavy like that in the past (bypass surgery took care of that) and can attest to it being a real problem. I have a hot tub and can get myself off by "fucking" the aerated jet stream coming from one of the better placed nozzles (even though I can grab my again, I still do it from time to time because it feels better than hand jacking). Not actually fucking the nozzle itself, just getting the head of my in the bubble stream and pumping into it. The pumping was/is because at some close distance the intensity gets to be too much, so I go in and out of that intensity until I get off. Hot tub cost me $ so you could say that this could buy a lot of "- releases" at massage parlors, but my wife and I also enjoy tubbing together. Better yet, save the money up and get the surgery, it change your life for the better in more ways than just your ability to choke your own chicken. sex Bellflower California mature womenI just got my "last months rent" back from my old landlord. It was unexpected, but very much needed. Now I can pay off some bills and be less stressed. I'm grateful for my and their health (touch wood?) and I am grateful for new friends in my life who are forcing me out of my safe bubble that I like to hide in.. I am grateful for things, and even though I have my share of setbacks, disappointments and hurt, life is good Good luck with all that snow. When you've had enough, send it up to Canada My dog thank you :) sweet teen
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